IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show number of people in Europe affected by four types of noise pollution in 2007

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The given bar graphs illustrate
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of impacted individuals by noise pollution- categorised into
traffic
Use synonyms
, trains, aircraft,
Use synonyms
industry
Correct word choice
and industry
show examples
 in Europe in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, noise impacted
people
Use synonyms
 much more during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 compared with
a
Change preposition
at
show examples
night
Use synonyms
. A huge number of residents, who lived both in cities and remote areas, were affected by
traffic
Use synonyms
 during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
day
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Industry
Correct article usage
The industry
show examples
 had less impact on
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Observing dwellers in cities in detail, 68
Use synonyms
mln
Correct your spelling
million
people
Use synonyms
 were influenced by
noise
Correct article usage
the noise
show examples
 of the
traffic
Use synonyms
 during a
day
Use synonyms
.At
night
Use synonyms
,
there was shown
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 lower figure
, representing
Verb problem
was shown, representing
show examples
 48
mln
Correct your spelling
million
.Trains' effect was much smaller than
traffic
Use synonyms
,
consituting
Correct your spelling
constituting
 10mln and 8mln,
at
Change preposition
during the
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 and
night
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
in turn
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.The figure of the aircraft made up 4mln at
day
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at
night
Use synonyms
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 4 times
lower
Correct word choice
fewer
show examples
 individuals compared with
Use synonyms
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
. Impacts of
industry
Use synonyms
 mirrored the
aircrafts'
Check wording
aircraft's
show examples
 trend. During the
day
Use synonyms
, 1mln
people
Use synonyms
 were affected,
at
Correct word choice
and at
show examples
night
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 index was 0.25mln. Turning to the rural places' indications,
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 of actions of vehicles was 35
Use synonyms
mln
Correct your spelling
million
 during
sun
Correct word choice
sunny
show examples
 hours, at
dark
Replace the word
night
, 24
mln
Correct your spelling
million
 residents were affected, making up a leading figure among other factors.Trains accounted for 8mln impacted dwellers during
Use synonyms
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
,
at
Correct word choice
and at
show examples
night
Use synonyms
, it was 6
mln
Correct your spelling
million
.Aircraft impacted 2
Use synonyms
mln
Correct your spelling
million
people
Use synonyms
 during
Use synonyms
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, at
night
Use synonyms
, it made up 2 times lower.
Industry
Use synonyms
 did not have any negative influences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the locals in remote areas in 2007.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words traffic, industry, people, day, night, mln with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: