IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Numbers of people in Europe affected by four types of noise pollution in 2007

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The bar charts illustrate the information about the number of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 in Europe
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 were affected by four types of noise during the
day
Use synonyms
 and at
night
Use synonyms
 in capital and rural areas in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both situations, traffic dominated the impact on noise levels during the
time
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day
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 and
night
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,
while
Linking Words
 industry affected lowest level in both areas.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 capital
are
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cities are
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 very noisy places during the
day
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 and at
night
Use synonyms
. 64
million
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population
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people
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 were affected by traffic in
capital
Correct article usage
the capital
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 during the
day
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 and 45
million
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 at
night
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,
while
Linking Words
 trains affected 10
million
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 during the
day
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, and 2
less
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million less
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 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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night
Use synonyms
. Aircraft affected 4
million
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community
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people
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 during the
day
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 and only 1
million
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community
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people
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 at
night
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 industry showed its lowest levels with 1 bank during the period and 0.25
million
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 at
night
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. Regarding the rural areas, traffic affected 35
million
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 bodies during the
day
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 and 24
million
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nation
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people
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 at
night
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, respectively. Trains affected 2
million
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 fewer bourgeois than in
borough
Correct article usage
the borough
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, with 8
million
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folk
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people
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 during the
heyday
Correct your spelling
day
 and 6
million
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society
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people
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 at
night
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. Aircraft affected half the number affected in cities during the
day
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, and affected 0 people at
night
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. Whilst the industry did not disturb anyone.

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task response
Use the right words for people. Do not change words too much. Use 'people' each time.
task response
Make the overview more clear. Say the biggest and smallest numbers, and compare city and rural areas.
task response
Check facts and wording. Some lines are hard to understand, so your ideas are not always clear.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a simple way: one paragraph for capital areas and one for rural areas.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like 'while', 'but', 'in contrast', and 'respectively'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid strange nouns like 'bank', 'nation', and 'society'. They break the flow and meaning.
coherence and cohesion
You gave an introduction and an overview.
task response
You used key numbers from both day and night data.
task response
You compared the four noise types in both areas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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