The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

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Nowadays,

this

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challenge of finding a job in cities can have serious consequences in the future if we consider that earning money is more difficult than in villages.

However

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, how can we avoid

this

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situation and lead to a more successful

apply

Replace the word

application

movement ?

Firstly

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, the biggest reason for

this

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is the high salary in cities , and not a lot of opportunities to find a job in the village.

For instance

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, my grandparents had moved from agricultural area to big town for paying a rent of their house.

Also

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, Occupations in developed areas are mainly about knowledge, smartness and convenient conditions.At the same time,physical activity and nothing about mental state is very useful in agricultural life. We can solve

this

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problem in two ways

Punctuation problem

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increase salaries , improve conditions in villages and make projects about the meaning of agriculture.

Secondly

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, when we start to discuss these topics, we will find easier solutions.

For example

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,decrease inflation in town and drop prices on daily products in villages. It solves the desire to make your life cheaper and better.

In addition

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, modern buildings should be constructed , and new technologies should be introduced In conclusion , I want to say that I totally agree with

this

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statement.Our generation should decide the issue which matters a lot to employment!

sofyakorotkov2010

Jun 6, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more clearly: say what problems happen in cities and in villages, then say how to fix each one.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear main ideas for each body part. One part can be about problems, and one part can be about solutions.

task response

Give more direct examples. Your example about your grandparents is personal, but it does not fully show the main social problem.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with easy words like first, also, because, as a result, and in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Make each sentence easy to follow. Some sentences are hard to understand because word order and meaning are not clear.

task response

Explain problems in both places. For example, cities can have no jobs, high rent, and crowding, while villages can lose young workers and food work can fall.

coherence and cohesion

You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

task response

You try to give solutions, not only problems.

coherence and cohesion

You use some linking words like firstly, secondly, for example, and in conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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