IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the fuel cost. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that the best method of solving the world's environmental issues is to
rise
Verb problem
raise
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 the
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
. As far as I am concerned, I believe that increasing
fuel
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 prices can not solve these issues because
elevating in
Verb problem
increasing
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 fossil
fuel
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price
Check wording
prices
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 can negatively affect
people
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 with lower financial
situation
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situations
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, and alternative sources are more expensive than
fuel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
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. One major factor why the
government
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 should not increase
fuel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
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 is the impact on
low income
Correct your spelling
low-income
citizens
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. Nowadays,
citizens
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 heavily rely on private vehicles to drive to their destinations. When
fossil
Correct article usage
the fossil
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fuel
Use synonyms
 price
is increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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, many
people
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 may not
cover
Verb problem
be able to cover
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 the fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will struggle with transportation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, rising
fuel
Use synonyms
cost
Use synonyms
 contributes to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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citizens
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 suffer from covering
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their costs
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cost
Use synonyms
. Another significant reason why the
government
Use synonyms
 should not increase
fuel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
 is
there
Correct word choice
that there
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no sufficient sources of
energy
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. By increasing
fuel
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energy
Use synonyms
, the
government
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 should
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
find
out
Verb problem
apply
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an alternative source of
energy
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Many
people
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 suggest
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
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 electric
energy
Use synonyms
 rather than fossil
Use synonyms
fuel
Check wording
fuels
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.
However
Linking Words
, to apply electric
energy
Use synonyms
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should prepare a new infrastructure.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 strategy
Use synonyms
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 too much
while
Linking Words
 using fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 is more affordable. In conclusion, fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 is considered the optimal source of
energy
Use synonyms
, and rising
price of
Correct word order
fuel prices
show examples
fuel
Use synonyms
 can harm
citizens
Use synonyms
are
Correct pronoun usage
, which are
show examples
 the two reasons why the
government
Use synonyms
 should not increase
fuel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
 when there is no efficient source of
energy
Use synonyms
rather
Correct word choice
other
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 than fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 financial situation may not
cover
Verb problem
be able to cover
show examples
its
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
cost
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Task response: You answer the question and you clearly disagree. This is good. But some ideas are not fully explained, so the answer feels a bit thin.
task response
Task response: Your main points are relevant, but the second point is not developed enough. Explain more how high fuel cost may not help the environment.
task response
Task response: Add one clear and real example. For example, talk about workers in areas with weak public transport, or the high cost of electric cars and charging points.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear basic shape with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are hard to follow because the link between ideas is weak. Use simple linking words well, such as first, also, as a result, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. Then explain it step by step with a reason and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Avoid repeating the same words too much, like fuel cost and fossil fuel. Use simple other forms such as fuel prices, this change, or this policy.
task response
Task response: You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
task response
Task response: Your ideas are on topic and connected to the question about environmental problems and fuel prices.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay is easy to see in parts, and the conclusion matches your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use some linking words like as a result and therefore, which helps connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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