Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

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These days, the
world
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is connected
togather
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together
more than ever.
Advancment
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Advancements
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in technologies,
such
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as
Internet
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the Internet
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, and streaming applications
such
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as Netflix and
Amazon
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Amazon,
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provided a way for
people
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to have access to
contents
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content
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from all over the
world
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.
This
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connection enabled a network for
people
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to share their ideas, and
lead
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led
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to
trending
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trends
for certain films,
fashion
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, and even
brands
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. These trends are affecting
the
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apply
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people
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's choices to the point that the differences between various cultures are fading. On the one hand, when
people
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are following
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follow
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the same patterns, they can become closer to each other.
This
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builds the ground for understanding one another and showing support and empathy towards each other when needed.
Additionally
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,
this
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can help
for
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apply
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some information to be
a
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apply
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common
knowladge
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knowledge
,
for instance
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, it benefits the society as a whole, when
people
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know how to detect an abusive behaviour and how to react to it.
Also
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, if the trending
fashion
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or
brands
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are the ones that cause less harm to the earth by having
a recycleable
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recyclable
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materials, or having green foot steps,
then
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having more consumers for those
brands
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is highly beneficial.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful aspects of the
world
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is that different countries have their own culture,
fashion
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and food; following the trends blindly can lead to
lossing
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losing
the valuable uniqueness each country and culture offers.
For instance
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, many countries in the
world
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have their own traditional dresses and customs
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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an essential part of their culture,
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
that for following the global
fashion
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would be tragic. In conclusion, I believe following the same trends for movies,
fashion
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and
brands
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can bring
people
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closer to each other and give them a chance to have wiser choices.
However
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, if followed blindly, it can cause the loss of some of the most beautiful differences that show the history and stories of various countries.
To sum up
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, I think
in
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to
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some extent and by
remembring
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remembering
to value the cultural differences and try to save them, the advantages of these
trendings
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trends
can outweigh
its
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their
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disadvantages.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say early if the bad points are more than the good points, or not.
task response
Give one more clear example for each main idea. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Develop your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your position the same all through the essay. Your last view is a little unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow. Some sentences are too long and can be split into two.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Homogenization
  • Erode
  • Global Heritage
  • Multinational Companies
  • Economic Disparities
  • Linguistic Diversity
  • Global Community
  • Social Cohesion
  • Dissemination of Information
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Artistic Expressions
  • Local Customs
  • Dominant Languages
  • Prevalent
  • Global Brands
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