IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or the same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work

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As time passed, workplaces continued to change, but nowdays its evolving at a pace that it is becoming tough for
people
Use synonyms
 to sustain themselves
on
Change preposition
in
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 their existing jobs or guarantee similar working conditions till retirement.
This
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 is the direct consequence of the recent growth in sectors like technology and
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
 intelligence, which led to advancements at speeds never experienced before.
This
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 essay will
dicuss
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discuss
 how
despite
Punctuation problem
, despite
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of
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apply
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such
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developments
Punctuation problem
developments,
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 one can prepare
himself
Fix the agreement mistake
oneself
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 for work.
To begin
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, in the
last
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 five decades humans have witnessed more technological advancement than all of our previous
genrations
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generations
 combined. Leading to roles being created and destroyed all in the span of
year's
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years
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 in comparison to the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 where even simple jobs continued to exist for
genrations
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generations
.
For instance
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,
In
Correct determiner usage
in the
show examples
 late 90s being a telephone operator was a
respectfull
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respectable
 and
well paying
Correct your spelling
well-paying
 career, but with the introduction of automatic systems and
smartphone
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smartphones
show examples
 their role simply vanished.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, recent
demostrations
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demonstrations
 of the
capablities
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capabilities
 of
artifical
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artificial
 intelligence and LLm's has shaken millions of
people
Use synonyms
from
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to
show examples
 their core, by
challanging
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challenging
 humans in tasks like coding and engineering, which are the top academic choices for many.
Therefore
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, making
people
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 fearful of the future because of the lingering possibility of them getting replaced in
upcomming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
 years. To address
this
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 issue, individuals would have to turn into
life long
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lifelong
 learners
which
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who
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 continue to remain flexible and non-constant in
this
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 era. Workers would have to adapt
with
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to
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 the trends continuously by staying in touch with the new technologies,
while
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 governments can copy China's framework by not allowing companies to replace workers with AI.
People
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also
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 need to change their mindset and move towards niche subjects, as general and repetitive tasks
would
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will
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 be getting replaced first.
Overall
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, I believe that
such
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 changes cannot be avoided
,
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. Instead,
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Instead
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 efforts can be made to be a polymath so that even drastic changes
leaves
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leave
show examples
 one with options.
However
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, government regulations can be used to guarantee basic necessities and support individuals affected, leading to less fear spreading among communities.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the causes well, but your ideas on how people should prepare need more detail.
task response
Add one more clear idea about preparation for work, such as learning new skills, better study plans, or work practice.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easier to follow. Put one clear topic at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some lines are long, so split them into shorter sentences.
task response
Support each main point with a full example or short result. This will make your argument stronger.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use a real work example about telephone operators, which helps your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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