IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are many things that can motivate people to perform well in their work. These can include the salary, job satisfaction or the chance to help others. What do you feel is the best motivation to do well at work? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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In order to increase
work
Use synonyms
 performance, there are various factors that can motivate workers to be more productive and effective.
Such
Linking Words
 as a corresponding
salary
Use synonyms
,
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction and a friendly
work
Use synonyms
 environment. I strongly believe that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is the best motivation to influence
work
Use synonyms
 behaviour.
To begin
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 with, having a
job
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 which matches your expectations is vital. When individuals are passionate about their
job
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, they are easily driven by mental motivation rather than merely working for a paycheck. They find joy and personal meaning in their daily tasks.
Consequently
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,
this
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 interest helps them to overcome and reduce the risk of burnout.
Instead
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 of just doing the bare minimum, they are likely to take the initiative and consistently produce high-quality
work
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.
For example
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, a qualified joiner who has insisted on making the best quality of cabinets will spend extra time to increase his technique and extra expenses on his tools.
This
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 outstanding performance stems from their loving
job
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 itself.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that a high
salary
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 is a strong motivator as it fulfils basic financial needs.
However
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, financial rewards often provide only short-term motivation. Once a comfortable standard of living is achieved, the encouraging effect of money tends to fade away. If people keep staying in a high-pressure working and low fulfilment environment, even a high
salary
Use synonyms
 cannot prevent them from becoming negative and ultimately quitting
jobs
Correct determiner usage
their jobs
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
while
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 money can attract people to a
job
Use synonyms
, it is not a crucial factor to prompt and maintain their
work
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 behaviours. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 a high
salary
Use synonyms
 is undeniably necessary to meet basic living standards,
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction plays a sustainable role in promoting a positive
work
Use synonyms
 performance. Only a genuine passion for and interest in their jobs will drive employees to consistently perform at their best.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first paragraph. Say very directly that job satisfaction is the best motive, and keep the other points shorter.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your idea. Your joiner example is good, but it feels a bit narrow and not fully explained.
task response
Develop your ideas a little more. Some points are good, but a few parts are too general, like burnout and money losing power over time.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but a few sentences feel a bit long or not smooth.
coherence cohesion
Check paragraph unity. The first body paragraph stays on one main idea, but some sentences could follow each other in a more natural order.
coherence cohesion
Avoid small grammar choices that make meaning less clear, such as sentence parts like 'Such as a corresponding salary'. These can affect flow.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion all through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
task response
You compare job satisfaction with salary, and this helps support your main point.
coherence cohesion
Most paragraphs have one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivation
  • performance
  • salary
  • job satisfaction
  • help
  • others
  • support
  • families
  • focus
  • roles
  • happy
  • harder
  • stay
  • purpose
  • fulfillment
  • recognition
  • managers
  • peers
  • effort
  • excel
  • training
  • growth
  • career
  • advancement
  • inspire
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