IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries, it is obligatory for school children to wear a uniform. Do the advatages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Provide reasons to support your answer and include any appropriate examples to illustrate your points.

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Introduction
In a lot of
contreies
Correct your spelling
countries
 around the world
Use synonyms
uniform
Punctuation problem
, uniform
show examples
 is forc in
schools
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 has a lot of positive aspects ,
in addition
Linking Words
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it has
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 negative aspects . In my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
Use synonyms
uniform
Check wording
uniforms
show examples
 can stop
classism
Use synonyms
 in
schools
Use synonyms
 and stop any
compertion
Correct your spelling
competition
 between students , but the
setution
Correct your spelling
situation
 of
studens
Correct your spelling
students
 has
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
 on the
felixpelty
Correct your spelling
feasibility
 of
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wearing
 the
uniform
Use synonyms
 . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will
discase
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the positive
of
Check wording
aspects of
show examples
uniform
Use synonyms
 and how it
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
show examples
 some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 environment.
Body paragraph 1
To
bigen
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begin
 with ,
uniform
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 can stop bullying in
schools
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 and
inustic
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injustice
 and
classism
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 between
Use synonyms
student
Check wording
students
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
For
inseatens
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instance
, if
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can
ware
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 any thing they
want
Punctuation problem
want,
show examples
 some of them will
ware
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 expinsev things ,
while
Linking Words
other
Replace the word
others
 will
ware
Use synonyms
 chiper things that will open dore of
comper
Correct your spelling
comparison
 between
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 children . In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 the
uniform
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 is for equality between students
prevention
Replace the word
to prevent
classism
Use synonyms
 .
Body paragraph 3
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
schools
Use synonyms
 should put limited
flixpelty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 for
student
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as littil make up for girls and
Use synonyms
ware
Use the right word
wear
show examples
 any shirts above the
uniform
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 ,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
this
Linking Words
 impact on
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
 health
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 students . As resalt they are children
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they are bild them carerr we must give them
limeted flixpelty
Correct your spelling
limited flexibility
.
Conclusion
In the conclusion ,
Use synonyms
uniform
Replace the word
uniformity
 is equal treatment between the
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , it prevention compertion ,
classism
Use synonyms
 and bullying between them .

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You say the good side is stronger, but you need a fuller look at the bad side too.
task response
Make each main idea larger with one clear reason and one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in the right way, like First, Also, However, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some ideas now jump too fast.
task response
You give a clear opinion that school uniform has more good points than bad points.
task response
You include one example about rich and poor children, and this fits the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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