IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Thechartsbelowshowthepercentageofuniversitystudentschoosingdifferentwaysto universityintheUKin2015and2019.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 pie chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
uk univesity
Correct your spelling
UK university
students
Use synonyms
 selecting five ways to get to their university
in2015
Correct your spelling
in 2015
 and 2019.
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
show examples
，the share of bus and walk
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increased from 2015 to 2019，
while
Linking Words
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of private car and subway
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 dropped from 2015 to 2019.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 bus saw a higher percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 selecting，rising from 20 to 35%，
whereas
Linking Words
 the private car accounted for 40% of
students
Use synonyms
 selecting
in2015
Correct your spelling
in 2015
 before decreased in 25% in 2019 .
Linking Words
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 is clear that the
declined
Replace the word
declining
proportion
Use synonyms
 of private
car
Check wording
cars
show examples
 is equal to the
rose
Replace the word
rising
 share of
bus
Check wording
buses
show examples
.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 was an upward trend in
selecting
Replace the word
the selection
 of
walk
Replace the word
walking
，rising from10% to15%.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 contrast，the percentage of subway
selecting
Replace the word
selections
 had
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend from 15% to 10%.
the declined
Replace the word
The declining
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
subeway
Correct your spelling
subway
 is equal to the
rose
Replace the word
rising
 share of
walk
Replace the word
walking
.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 addition ，the
Use synonyms
students selecting
Replace the word
students' selection
 of
bike
Check wording
bikes
show examples
 from 2015
to2019
Correct your spelling
to 2019
 has an equal
proportion
Use synonyms
，with the figure of 15%

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, give a clearer overview. Say the main changes in one easy sentence.
task response
For task response, use more correct data wording, like 'the share of bus travel rose from 20% to 35%'.
task response
For task response, compare all five ways in a more even way, not only two or three in detail.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, split ideas into clear groups. Put rising numbers in one part and falling numbers in another part.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use simple link words well, like 'while', 'in contrast', 'also', and 'by comparison'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check sentence order and grammar so each point is easy to follow.
task response
You included an overview, which is very important for Task 1.
task response
You used key numbers from both years to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs for the main data.
coherence and cohesion
You used some link words such as 'whereas' and 'in contrast'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: