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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Sciencetists predict in the near future, cars will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive of negative development? Linh

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Experts have
forcast
Correct your spelling
forecast
 that in comming future,
Use synonyms
car
Check wording
cars
show examples
 will be driverless and fully operated through technology. It is because
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 invention has taken a great upgrade with time.
This
Linking Words
 development carries both benefits
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 no driving licence required and
cost effective
Correct your spelling
cost-effective
, and drawback
likewise
Linking Words
;
increases
Correct pronoun usage
it increases
show examples
 the number of
road
Use synonyms
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 and create unemployment situation.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 there is
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 growth
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology. New
innovation
Check wording
innovations
show examples
 and creativity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 increasing with time and
highly
Verb problem
are highly
show examples
 accepted by
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which their is various changes
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be seen on vehicles development. On
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 we can see
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 upgrade, more
digitalization
Change the spelling
digitalisation
show examples
 is
addopted
Correct your spelling
adopted
 on
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
. It
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 many
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
; no need to carry
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
show examples
 licence to drive a
car
Use synonyms
. People only need to follow rules and
regulation
Check wording
regulations
show examples
 for their safety
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as traffic rules
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they do not need to carry
licence
Correct determiner usage
a license
show examples
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. Another advantage is
,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 it is
cost effective
Correct your spelling
cost-effective
.
This
Linking Words
 is because it
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
 need to pay for fuel nor hire any person to ride it. Only
passenger
Correct article usage
the passenger
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 to instruct it to operate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
system
Use synonyms
operate
Correct subject-verb agreement
operates
show examples
 from a single room
far
Punctuation problem
, far
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
distance
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,BYD has changes it feature evey years, EV is one of the most popular
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 that runs on
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
. And it seems that it is going to improve every
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 and will end up
converting
Verb problem
being
show examples
 totally driverless because
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
current features are done by computers
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as GPS, sound
instruction
Check wording
instructions
show examples
 of
warrning
Correct your spelling
warning
,
camera
Correct article usage
a camera
show examples
 to watch
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it has various
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 like loss of job, if
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 are
operate
Wrong verb form
operated
show examples
automatically
Punctuation problem
automatically,
show examples
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 is no need to hire
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 driver
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
; as
show examples
 a
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 many drivers will lose their work. They will be jobless because the
skilled
Replace the word
skills
 they have will be useless in
this
Linking Words
 digital world. Only IT staff are required to operate
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
system
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 by sitting at
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 place.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
car
Use synonyms
accident
Check wording
accidents
show examples
 will increase because if
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 is any bud
arrive
Correct subject-verb agreement
arrives
show examples
 at the
system
Use synonyms
 of
transportation
Punctuation problem
transportation,
show examples
 it will be
difficults
Replace the word
difficult
 to take control of those
vechile
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 running at
road
Use synonyms
. The loss of control
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 location and
system
Use synonyms
 can cause serious
problem
Check wording
problems
show examples
 and increase
car
Use synonyms
crass
Check wording
crashes
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,On Ev cars, sometimes
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 is
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
 related
with
Change preposition
to the
show examples
system
Use synonyms
 create
car
Use synonyms
 accident at parking area or
fire
Correct article usage
a fire
show examples
 attack. All
this
Linking Words
because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
 of any issue arrive on
system
Use synonyms
 of that
car
Use synonyms
. In
conclusions
Check wording
conclusion
show examples
,
researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
show examples
 predict that in future
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 will be
automatic
Correct article usage
an automatic
show examples
system
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 operation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 is because of change on technology
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can
creats
Correct your spelling
create
 great opportunities
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
provide
drawback
Check wording
drawbacks
show examples
 by increasing unemployment.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why cars may be driverless, and then give a clear view: mostly good or mostly bad.
task response
Use ideas that match your main view. Now you say both good and bad, but your final view is not very clear.
task response
Give more real and clear examples. Some examples now are too general and hard to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea only. This will help the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, however, as a result, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check order inside sentences. Some sentences are hard to understand because the words are not in a clear order.
task response
You answered the full question and wrote about both reasons and your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like however, similarly, and for example.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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