IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do you think advantages that the government pays the money outweigh these disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In some nations government
asisst
Correct your spelling
assists
 students by
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
fees of university
Correct word order
university fees
show examples
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand , in
others
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
 countries
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
student
Correct article usage
a student
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to countinu he should pay the
fees
Use synonyms
 . In my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
, asisst student has
positive aspects more
Correct word order
more positive
show examples
 than negative
aspects
Punctuation problem
aspects,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
not all
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 can pay
,
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
in
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
 if goverment pay the
fees
Use synonyms
 ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will be
support
Correct article usage
a support
show examples
 from them to student to develop the
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
.  To
bigen
Correct your spelling
begin
 with , a lot of people do not have
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 to pay the
fees
Use synonyms
 .
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 pay
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
 that asisst them to develop themselfs and if they develop
the
Correct pronoun usage
themselves, the
show examples
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 will develop . In fact , you can not bild country without education .
Additionally
Linking Words
 pay the
fees
Use synonyms
is support to
Verb problem
supports
show examples
 students to
continu
Correct your spelling
continue
 in them dream to develop the nation and
socity
Correct your spelling
society
. 
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 the
fees
Use synonyms
 has effects on ecnomy . In fact ,
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 the
sudent
Correct your spelling
student
 is bild infrastructure, fruthermore if you do not have
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
 to work in
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Punctuation problem
city,
show examples
 that
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 you do not have
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 resources .
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 develop your
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 resources mean devlop your
econmy
Correct your spelling
economy
 and your city . In conclusion ,
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 the
fees
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not damage the econmy
on the contrary
Linking Words
 , it
devlop
Correct your spelling
develops
 the nation and
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
.
Additionally
Linking Words
 rememper you can not bild nation
with out
Correct your spelling
without
 education.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one or two simple and real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are too short or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences stop too fast or do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it before moving on.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
Your main idea is easy to see: government help with fees can help students and the country.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: