IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that university students should pay the full cost of their studies because university education only benefits those students, not the whole of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of who should pay for
university
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ducation
Correct your spelling
education
, students or the state, is a
much discussed
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much-discussed
 topic and has featured in US presidential elections. It is often true that students gain a lot from a
university
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education
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 in terms of improved career prospects and life opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree that they are the only
beneficiary
Fix the agreement mistake
beneficiaries
show examples
 and believe that the costs should be shared. The main reason why the
cost
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 of
university
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educatio
Correct your spelling
education
 should be shared is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 it is crucial for the economic growth of
society
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 as a whole. Equipped
wih
Correct your spelling
with
 critical thinking, problem-solving, and communication skills,
university
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 graduates are often the ones responsible for innovating and creating new technologies that improve the life for everyone. They play an important role contributing to the formation of new jobs and businesses
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 since the benefits of economic growth are
widespread
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widespread,
show examples
 it
wouldbe
Correct your spelling
would be
 unfair if
society
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 did not contribute towards the
cost
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 of a tertiary
education
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. Another reason why the
cost
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 should be shared is that
university
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education
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 has a significant impact on social stability. By going to
university
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, individuals from disadvantaged backgrounds can break the cycle of poverty and achieve upward social mobility.
This
Linking Words
 not only benefits the individuals but
society
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 as a whole. It reduces inequality and fosters a more diverse and inclusive
society
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which
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, which
show examples
 is less prone to the instability caused by a
resentful
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resentful,
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disaffected
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disaffected,
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 permanent
under-class
Correct your spelling
underclass
. The resulting increase in social stability is a worthwhile return for the investment of
pubulic
Correct your spelling
public
 funds. In conclusion, individual students do benefit from a
university
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education
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 so does
society
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 it is fair that the costs should be shared by both parties. A larger number of
Use synonyms
university educated
Correct your spelling
university-educated
 graduates leads to higher economic growth and more social mobility. It remains to be decided what proportion of the
cost
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 should be the responsibility of the individual and the state, and
that is
Linking Words
, probably, a more difficult issue to resolve.

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task response
For task response, make your position even more clear in each body part. You say the cost should be shared, which is good, but you can repeat this main idea more directly when you give each reason.
task response
For task response, add one more specific example. Your ideas are strong, but a short real or clear example would make them stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check small word mistakes and spelling. These do not fully block meaning, but they can slow the reader.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words with care. Your essay flows well, but a few links between ideas can be smoother.
task response
For task response, you answer the question fully and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
For task response, your two main reasons are relevant and well developed.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear four-part structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and this makes the essay easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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