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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, A,erican, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

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The bar chart illustrates how many
hours
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 per day that
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chinese
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Chinese
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,
American
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,
turkish
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 and
brazilian
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Brazilian
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 visitors spent doing leisure activities on holiday in Greece in August 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Chinese
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 and
American
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tourist
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tourists
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 spent the most
time
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 reading,
while
Linking Words
Turkish
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 and Brazilian
tourist
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tourists
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 preferred spending
time
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 at the beach. Looking first at reading,
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chinese
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Chinese
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tourists
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 spent the most
time
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 on
this
Linking Words
 activity, at 8
hours
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 per day.
American
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tourists
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 ranked
second,
Linking Words
with 5
hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Turkish
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 and
Brazillian
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Brazilian
tourists
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 spent only 4hours reading, which was exactly half the
figure
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 for
Chinesr
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Chinese
tourists
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. Regarding
time
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 spent at the beach,
brazilian
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Brazilian
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tourists
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 recorded the highest
figure
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 at 6
hours
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, followed by
Turkish
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 visitors at 5
hours
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Americans spent 4
hours
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 at the beach,
while
Linking Words
Chinese
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tourists
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 devoted the least
time
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 to
tihis
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this
 activity, at only 3
hours
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. Negligibly, as for visiting places, the
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figure
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figures
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 were generally lower across all four groups.
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American
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Americans
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 and
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turkish
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Turks
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 share the same figures, consisting of 3
hours
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, compared with 2
hours
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 for
brazilians
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Brazilians
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.
Chinese
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 visitors
recored
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recorded
 the lowest
figure
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 once again,
an
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apply
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just 1 hour per day.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, chinese, american, turkish, time, tourists, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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