Some people say that high school programmes should include compulsory unpaid community service (for example coaching sports to younger children, helping to improve the neighbourhood, or volunteering for a charity). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is widely acknowledged that volunteering in public
services
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has a great impact on
adolescent's
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adolescents'
show examples
development.
While
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others believe that
school's
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schools'
show examples
curriculum ought to have an integration with
mandotary
Correct your spelling
mandatory
volunteering jobs without being paid,others think that
this
Linking Words
creates difficult times and pressure for adolescents. I firmly agree that
charity
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orgranizations dont
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organisations don't
have enough money to offer a full-time paid
job
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to a person
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
children
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can acquire significant skills that will be required for them in the future. The foremost reason to support my view is that
by
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apply
show examples
participating
a
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in a
show examples
volunteer
job
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plays an important role in supporting
charity
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Use synonyms
organizations
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organisations
show examples
. As juveniles are employed in these
kind
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kinds
show examples
of
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organizations
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organisations
show examples
without being paid,
services
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can
make saving
Verb problem
save
show examples
on labor and they can allocate more
resource
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resources
show examples
to their essential needs.
For instance
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, in Africa, every summer holiday
charity
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Use synonyms
organizations
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organisations
show examples
employ a significant number of volunteer researchers to find out their water issues
and
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, and
show examples
they can invest all
money
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the money
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in to build infrastructures.
Therefore
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,
charity
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Use synonyms
organizations
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organisations
show examples
can benefit from unpaid employees.
Furthermore
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, another reason to justify my stance is that having more
job
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experiences
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experience
show examples
, adolescents will easily
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
the
job
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requirements in the future. When they join a
charity
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organization
children
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can acquire essential
job
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skills that
can
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they can
show examples
use in any work field from trained professionals
that
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who
show examples
help adolescents through
whole
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the whole
show examples
process.
For instance
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, in Quebec,
children
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who have
charity
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jobs
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job
show examples
experiences find a
job
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quickly because they can practice their French
while
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they are working.
This
Linking Words
clearly demonstrates that
communtiy
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community
services
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are a great opportunity for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation to acquire
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
skills. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
some argue that
children
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cannot focus on their classes
while
Linking Words
they are working in community
services
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, I firmly maintain that
charity
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Use synonyms
organizations
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organisations
show examples
have merit not only for young generations but
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
services
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for the services
show examples
itself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say exactly why you agree.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why school service helps students or society.
task response
Some examples are good, but they feel a bit general. Use one more real and clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few ideas are hard to follow. Make shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check how each point connects to the next one. A few jumps in meaning make reading less easy.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion clearly.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'Furthermore' and 'Therefore' help show the order of ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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