IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Many people consider that to stay healthy
Use synonyms
exercise
Punctuation problem
, exercise
show examples
 is more important.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that healthy eating is more important than
exercise
Use synonyms
. I personally believe that
exercise
Use synonyms
 and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 diet
both are
Correct word order
are both
show examples
 important to live
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 life.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
sides
Check wording
sides'
show examples
 views
along with
Linking Words
 personal opinions. On the one side, there is no doubt about the fact that regular
exercise
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a pivotal role
to maintain
Change preposition
in maintaining
show examples
 good health. Exercises like cardio, salsa, gymnastics and weightlifting burn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
calories and make your muscles stronger. Individuals
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
are doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 the exercises on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
 basis
, they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 stay away from many diseases
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 obesity, hypertension and diabetes. On the other side,
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 diet is
also
Linking Words
 key to good health.
Along with
Linking Words
 the physical activities, healthy eating habits are important. Without healthy eating,
exercise
Use synonyms
 is incomplete. Nobody can give their best in
exercise
Use synonyms
 without good food. With
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 diet, people can stay away from many fatal diseases. They can stay fit and strong.

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coherence cohesion
Write a real end part. Your essay has an intro and two body parts, but no clear final end.
task achievement
Discuss both sides more fully. You mention both views, but the ideas are short.
task achievement
Give one or two clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
task achievement
State your opinion clearly and keep it the same through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro and two main body parts.
task achievement
You answer both parts of the task and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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