Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that there are a lot of
crimes
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need
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that need
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to be punished to reduce the number of
people
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who commit these
crims
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crimes
.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that some
people
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beleiev
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believe
all lawbreakers should be sent to
prison
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, there is
also
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an argument that
people
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who commit minor
crimes
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should do work for the local
community
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community,
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as there are better alternatives to
prison
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.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand,there are different
crimes
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and many
punshments
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punishments
. Every
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people
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person
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who
commit
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commits
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a crime needs to be punished.
In other words
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, sending them to
prison
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helps to reduce the number of
crimes
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and increase safety in society. All
crimes
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start from minor
crimes
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and become bigger in the future.
In addition
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, that will help to make
people
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afraid of going to
prison
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before committing
crimes
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.
For example
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, if these
people
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are punished, individuals will be encouraged to
be
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apply
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behave well.
On the other hand
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, governments should make
people
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who commit minor
crimes
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provide service for
socity
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society
,
such
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as planting trees. It is
also
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possible to say that there are many
people
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who
harm
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cause harm
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in society,
government
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the government
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should punish them by
work
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working
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in many voluntary sectors.
Moreover
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, they can provide support for older
people
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and help to take care of them.
For example
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,many countries,
such
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as Japan, punish
people
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by making them work on
enviromental
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environmental
projects, planting trees, and
sortting weast
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sorting waste
. Through these services, they become better individuals and learn from
thier
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their
mistakes. There are no easy
to answer
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answers to these
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this
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questions. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that community service is a
beter
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better
option for
people
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who commit minor
crimes
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because it benefits society and helps offenders become responsible citizens.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about prison and community work, but the ideas are still quite short.
task response
Give your own opinion more clearly in the body, not only at the end.
task response
Use more clear main ideas in each paragraph, then add one or two simple reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is used, like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand', but some sentences do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main point. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
task response
You include an example about Japan, which helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Basic paragraphing is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lawbreakers
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitation
  • community service
  • recidivism
  • incarceration
  • public safety
  • cost-effectiveness
  • infraction
  • reintegration
  • punitive measures
  • reoffending
  • stigmatization
  • educational programs
  • counseling programs
  • alternative approaches
  • societal benefits
  • burden on taxpayers
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