IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefit and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays
people
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 prefer to visit different
areas
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a
Change preposition
as a
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change from the norm.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that these days , the increasing number of tourists
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 visiting
places
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 where conditions are difficult,
such
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 as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. On one hand, the benefits
from
Change preposition
of
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 visiting these
places
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Sahara
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, such as the Sahara
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 Desert or the Antarctic because they offer a unique experience.
In other words
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, throughout visiting these
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places
Punctuation problem
places,
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 visitors can have a better and more exciting experience , which may benefit them in future.
In addition
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, they can explore
places
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 that most
people
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 have never visited before
,visiting Antarctic
Punctuation problem
. Visiting Antarctica
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 allows
people
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 to see rare landscapes and wildlife.
For example
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, if
people
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 visit these
places
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, they can learn about nature and different environments, they can develop new skills and become more confident.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 face a negative impact when visiting these
places
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 ,
such
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 as extreme weather. It is
also
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 possible to say that it is difficult to find a hospital in these
areas
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,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 may suffer from injuries
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 or illness because
Correct article usage
the
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very low temperatures in Antarctica can cause health problems.
Moreover
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,these trips are often expensive because tourists need special equipment and transportation.
For instance
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, travelling to remote
areas
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 usually costs much more than a normal holiday. In conclusion, visiting
areas
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 with hard conditions can be an exciting and educational experience.
However
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, tourists should consider the risks and costs before making
such
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 trips.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about the good points and the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
Support each main idea with one clear example and explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. Some sentences feel repeated or not fully joined.
task response
Check grammar in some phrases because unclear wording can make your ideas less strong.
task response
You answered the question and wrote about both benefits and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples like wildlife, weather, hospital access, and cost.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • untouched natural beauty
  • diverse ecosystems
  • typical tourist destinations
  • sense of adventure
  • unique travel experiences
  • personal challenges
  • remote or untouched places
  • environmental awareness
  • natural conservation
  • harsh weather conditions
  • modern amenities
  • dehydration
  • frostbite
  • extreme conditions
  • special equipment
  • guides
  • permits
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