IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that historical sites should be completely closed to the public. Others,however, believe that it is important for the public to visit these sites. Discuss both viewsand give your opinion.

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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary society, it is common for people to believe that the historical landmarks should be closed to the public,
while
Linking Words
 others think it is crucial for people to visit them.
Such
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 views can influence how governments deal with historical
sites
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 as far as I’m concerned, I fully oppose
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint. First and foremost, irreversible
damages
Check wording
damage
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 may be caused to the cultural
sites
Use synonyms
. Specifically, some tourist with no
moral
Replace the word
morals
 may damage the historical
sites
Use synonyms
 intentionally
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 carving signs or even their names on the wall
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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 may result in hairline cracks that
threatens
Correct subject-verb agreement
threaten
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 the whole structure.
For instance
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, in the tunnel of pyramids in Egypt, words and signs of different languages and cultures are carved on the wall
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has been affirmed by experts that the cracks increase the possibility of collapsing.
In contrast
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, experiencing the cultural heritages can enable
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 to develop a deeper understanding of history and cultural identity. To be more specific, historical information and events are recorded in their structures, designs
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as antiques preserved in them. Only when the historical landmarks are opened to the public
, people can
Correct word order
can people
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 get access to the real
history
Replace the word
historical
 understandings and cultivate cultural identity. By way of example,
according to
Linking Words
 research carried in UCL, researchers found that when asking volunteers why they’re proud of their culture, over 70% use cultural
heritages
Check wording
heritage
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 as a main part of their view. In summary,
although
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 the historical
sites
Use synonyms
 could be damaged by tourists, their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 can be enhanced and corrected by the gradually perfecting law system
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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such
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 circumstances
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
have become
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 less
in
Correct word choice
frequent in
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 recent years as the morality of folks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more and more developed.
On the other hand
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, the effect of building cultural identity and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 understandings cannot be replaced.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I fully oppose closing historical landmarks to the public.

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task response
Write about both sides in a more equal way. Your essay gives more time to the side you agree with.
task response
Make your opinion very clear at the end of the introduction with one short sentence.
task response
Explain your examples more simply and clearly, so the reader can see how they support your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not smooth. Break very long sentences into two shorter ones.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few ideas feel hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion.
task response
You discuss both views, not only one side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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