Some people believe that schools should include competitive sports as a subject while others believe that it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Competitive

sports

Use synonyms

can be an important part of the school curriculum as they teach essential values,

such

Linking Words

as discipline.

While

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some believe

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

need to be included as a subject, others argue they can negatively impact the

children

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

my opinion is that

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

are necessary for

children

Use synonyms

because

sports

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competitions promote fitness starting from a young age. One of the primary reasons why people support

this

Linking Words

view is

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

competitive

sports

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can

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

discipline in young

children

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This

Linking Words

is largely because, when individuals prepare for

sports

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tournaments, they are expected to follow a regular diet and exercise plan to meet the competition standards. By maintaining a strict routine, young pupils can learn to gain control over their lives through athletic challenges. A clear example of

this

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can be seen in athletes who have been in athletics since

childhood

Punctuation problem

childhood,

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as they have

well regulated

Correct your spelling

well-regulated

lifestyles in the process of meeting competition standards.

Therefore

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, competitive physical activities as a school subject may teach great values to the students.

Although

Linking Words

it is true that

rivalry

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sports

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offer several benefits, critics argue that

rivalry

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sports

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set up young kids against each other. A key factor behind

this

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view is that when

children

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compete with each other in

such

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competitions, they may end up feeling jealous of the winners. If youngsters see people cheering for the winning parties, their

self esteem

Correct your spelling

self-esteem

may get lowered

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they might develop the

emotion

Check wording

emotions

show examples

of envy and jealousy. A relevant example can be seen in the case of kids who do not get selected for state

competitions

Punctuation problem

competitions,

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as they lose and end up feeling down and envious of those who win.

Consequently

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, the negative influence of

rivalry

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

understandable. In conclusion, athletic challenges encourage youngsters to stay disciplined, but they can

also

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fill them with negative emotions.

Overall

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, despite the shortcomings of

sports

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that include

rivalry

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, they can have a long-term positive influence on students.

jaismeen1107

Jun 12, 2026

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task response

Give a more direct answer to both sides and your view in each main part.

task response

Make your opinion very clear from start to end, not only in the intro and end.

task response

Add one more clear and real example to make your ideas stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Use link words in a more natural way and avoid repeating the same idea.

coherence and cohesion

Some lines are not fully clear, so make each point simple and direct.

coherence and cohesion

Check word use like 'rivalry sports' and 'negative influence of rivalry are understandable' because they make the flow weak.

task response

You answer both views and give your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most main points are explained with support.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life skills
teamwork
discipline
perseverance
physically active
valuable lessons
success and failure
intense pressure
stress and anxiety
self-esteem issues
excessive emphasis
neglect
important subjects
activities

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