IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech) .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern digital era, many youngsters have the tendency to
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 an excessive amount of
money
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as well as
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to satisfy their
fashion
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 needs, including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trendy clothing and technical products. I strongly agree with the statement as all the young
people
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 are
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 updated with the help of different digital platforms. The virtual media attracts the youngsters
in to
Correct your spelling
into
fashion
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 trends. First of all, there is a trend which has been arising recently with the new generations to focus on a
fashion
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 without
aware
Verb problem
being aware
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 of the
money
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. The digital media has a significant role
to attract
Change preposition
in attracting
show examples
 them
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends. Most of the young working professionals invest a huge amount of their income to buy the
up to date
Correct your spelling
up-to-date
 collections of attire
as well as
Linking Words
 electronic gadgets. Nowadays, students
also
Linking Words
 force
th
Correct your spelling
their
 parents to invest the
money
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
fashion
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 things.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a major problem with the young
people
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 is the
spending of an
Check wording
apply
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excessive amount of
time
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 to profound newly arrived clothing
as well as
Linking Words
 technical products. The modern digital markets attract the new generation
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people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 to spend their
time
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 with them. Despite the
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 find their own
time
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 to follow the
fashion
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 trends. In conclusion, nowadays, with the influence of digital platforms, the younger generations are deliberately
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
 their
money
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 and
time
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 to follow their
fashion
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 needs
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as clothing and technical products
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the current trend.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the question. Say why you agree, and how much you agree, in a direct way.
task response
Add one or two simple real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how fashion trends affect money and time.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as first, also, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your ideas are easier to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and gave a clear opinion: you agree.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The main ideas are about money and time, so they match the question.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • peer pressure
  • social media influence
  • financial stability
  • fast fashion
  • consumerism
  • social validation
  • fear of missing out (FOMO)
  • cultural shifts
  • marketing strategies
  • environmental sustainability
  • thrift shopping
  • do-it-yourself (DIY)
  • economic impact
  • sustainable practices
  • upcycling
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