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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that telephone is the greatest invention of the last century. To what extent do you agree?

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These days
technology
Punctuation problem
, technology
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 in general and
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
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 in specific are very popular topics. So, some believe that the telephone is the greatest
invention
Use synonyms
 of the
last
Linking Words
century
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, so
naturally
Add a comma
naturally,
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 there will be others who disagree.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusions On one hand, I see where the people who agree are coming from, telephones are a revolutionary
invention
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 that changed millions
if
Punctuation problem
, if
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 not billions
of
Punctuation problem
, of
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 lives on a daily basis. A tiny device can help you talk instantly to someone on the other side of the globe! I don't think anyone is undermining how revolutionary that was at the time, but I believe that the main reason why many are saying it's "The Greatest" ever is not because of its complexity, but simply because of its daily usage. Unlike a lot of other brilliant technologies that I'm sure were extremely helpful
on
Change preposition
in
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 their own field, but they were not within reach or a need for regular folks, at least not to the same extent. So,
as a result
Linking Words
, many people believe it's the greatest
invention
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, like many people, I tend to disagree
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 I believe that computers in general and transistors in specific are the greatest
Use synonyms
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
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 of the
last
Linking Words
century
Use synonyms
. They were like a slippery slope or a domino effect in improving everything that we have today, and I use everthing on the literal sense. From medicine to AI to education and more. I'm not exaggerating when
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 say humans witnessed more development in the
last
Linking Words
century
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 than in the
last
Linking Words
 thousand years. Horses were used as the main transportation method for thousands of years with little to no change
century
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 after
century
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, and only in the
last
Linking Words
century
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we
Verb problem
did we
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went
Wrong verb form
go
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 from riding horses not only to cars or aeroplanes but to space! The computer made the most unprecedented change , in my opinion. In conclusion, after a brief analysis of both points of view, I lean towards the side that disagrees with the idea that telephones are the greatest
invention
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, and I'm more attracted to the idea that computers are the greatest
invention
Use synonyms
 of the
last
Linking Words
century
Use synonyms
.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly how much you agree or disagree.
task response
For task response, explain your main reason in a deeper way. Your ideas are good, but some parts stay general.
task response
For task response, add one or two more clear examples to support why computers are greater than telephones.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, avoid very long sentences with many commas. Split them into shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words more carefully. Some parts feel a bit loose or run together.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explanation, example, result.
task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your own opinion clearly in the end.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant to the topic and stay on point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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