IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 in New York City experienced a dramatic expansion over the 200-year period. During the same period, the distribution of the
population
Use synonyms
 across the five
districts
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 changed significantly. In 1800, most of the citizens lived in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, by 2000, there were more
residents
Use synonyms
 living in the other four
districts
Use synonyms
, including Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island. In terms of the total
population
Use synonyms
, there were only 79,216
residents
Use synonyms
 across all five
districts
Use synonyms
 in 1800.
This
Linking Words
 figure increased more than fortyfold, reaching 3.4 million by 1900. It continued to grow and eventually reached 8 million by 2000. As the
population
Use synonyms
 grew, the changes in the distribution of
residents
Use synonyms
 across different
districts
Use synonyms
 show a more complex pattern. In 1800, the proportion of people living in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
 was 76%, which accounted for the vast majority of the
population
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 1900,
although
Linking Words
 there were more people living in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
 than in other
districts
Use synonyms
, with the
population
Use synonyms
 reaching 1.8 million, the proportion still declined to 54%. By 2000, the number of
residents
Use synonyms
 in the other four
districts
Use synonyms
 surpassed that of
Manhattan
Use synonyms
, both in absolute numbers and in terms of proportion, representing a complete reversal of the earlier pattern.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, districts, manhattan, residents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • people
  • city
  • five
  • district
  • grow
  • growth
  • rise
  • increase
  • increase
  • rise
  • fall
  • decline
  • high
  • low
  • big
  • large
  • small
  • more
  • less
  • over time
  • by year
  • in total
  • compare
  • compared with
  • whereas
  • trend
  • pattern
  • overall
  • feature
  • note
  • point
  • difference
  • lead
  • catch up
  • late
  • early
  • century
  • decade
  • period
  • 2000
  • 1800
  • 1900
  • continuous
  • steady
  • rapid
  • fast
  • slow
  • periods
  • numbers
  • data
  • report
  • describe
  • summarise
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