IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the number of people taking part in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005.. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph compares the proportion of people who are participating in for differents of sports from 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the
beggining rubgy
Correct your spelling
beginning rugby
 section is the highest.
By contrast
Linking Words
, badminton and basketball are remaining steady.
However
Linking Words
, from the information Rugby region is
extreamly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 changed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, tennis
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slightly increased
reached
Replace the word
its reach
 to
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
. First of all, Rugbby department was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 from the
started
Replace the word
start
. There was 250 person were joined.
However
Linking Words
, there was
declined
Replace the word
a decline
 to 200 proportions in 10 years period
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Alongside
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, extreamly decreased to 50 people in 2005.
Thus
Linking Words
,
tennis
Correct article usage
the tennis
show examples
 region was spot on 150 proportion form the beggining ther were growth
up
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5 per cent
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every 5 years and reached to top in the end of time
as
Change preposition
, with approximately
show examples
 220 people apprximately. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
,
basketball
Correct article usage
the basketball
show examples
 and badminton
section
Correct subject-verb agreement
sections
show examples
 are remaining
same
Change preposition
in the same
show examples
 spot as
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 start.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuation
  • popularity
  • demographics
  • sports
  • region
  • data
  • analysis
  • comparison
  • notable
  • overview
  • highest
  • lowest
  • 20-year period
  • particular
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