IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today change their jobs and careers several times during their working lives. Why is this happening? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 more and more
people
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 switch
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
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jobs frequently .
This
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 essay will discuss the main reason for
this
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trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
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, and I believe that the
disadvangtages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
this
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trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
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 slightly outweigh the potentiąl drawbacks. For one thing，
peoples
Check wording
people's
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 career attitude
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 experienced a
gaint
Correct your spelling
giant
change
Use synonyms
.
in
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In
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 the past ,the vast majority of
people
Use synonyms
 tended to choose a stable
work
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job
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,as it was seen as the guarantee of
finacial
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financial
 security .
by contrast
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,
nowdays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
,a large number of employers focus on personal
developed
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development
 and
self-accomplished
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self-accomplishment
,
wiling
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willing
 to break out of the comfort zone.
thus
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 ,they select
change
Use synonyms
 their job to stimulate the passion and motivation of their life.for another, in the context of scientifc development and the commercialization of ai,ai replaced many employment position in the field of using basic labour computing.
for example
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 ,with the development of ai audit，many
people
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 are forced to
change
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 their job into risk consulting and management consulting to ensure their basic life. From my perspective，the disadvantages are more essential in comparison with its
merit
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merits
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.admittedly,some
people
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 who changing their job repeatedly has more experience and consider sth quite variable .
for example
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，a lawyer who previously be an financial analyst can build a link between legal and economy ,helping the enterprise complete the ipo project better.
however
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 ,
this
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 positive effect has limit,which is solely used to some special industry.for regarding company，employees leave too often significantly enhance the cost of lobour ，as the enterprise need to re-recriuit new worker. it is not only
spend
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involves spending
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 more time on interviews and teaching,but
also
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increase
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increases
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 the vocational training cost.
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besides
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Besides
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，for some industries that have
strong
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a strong
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 connection with consumers ,
such
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 as sales,who master plenty of
consumers resource
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consumer resources
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。
if
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If
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 they go to the new company ,they will carry on
this
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 resource
which
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, which
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bring
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brings
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 worse economic loss for
company
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the company
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. In conclusion,
People
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 jobs often mainly because they want
get
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to get
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 new experience and industries keep changing.
This
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 trend has a few small disadvantages
，
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apply
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and brings more benefits on the whole.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way. You give reasons and talk about pros and cons, but your final view is not fully clear because the last line does not match the body.
task response
Keep one clear opinion from start to end. If you say the bad points are stronger, say the same in the conclusion.
task response
Explain main ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need simpler and clearer support.
task response
Use examples that are easy to follow. Your lawyer and analyst example is relevant, but it can be shorter and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure: intro, body, conclusion. This is a good start.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Some sentences try to carry too many ideas at the same time.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result'. Do not use too many long or mixed linkers.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because they make your ideas hard to follow in some parts.
task response
You answer the two questions in the task.
task response
You give more than one reason for why people change jobs.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing to separate main parts of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show contrast with words like 'by contrast' and 'however'.
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