IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 five
differents
Replace the word
different
 countries which are selected by
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 population to move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 from 2004 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular country which is chosen by UK citizens is Australia
Punctuation problem
, adn
show examples
adn follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by Spain
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is in Europe.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
 was a third
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
. Alongside
this
Linking Words
, New
Zealnd
Correct your spelling
Zealand
 and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 were chosen by British
citizen
Check wording
citizens
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
. First of all, from the information
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown in a year of 2004 and
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
 approximately 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 are
seleting
Correct your spelling
selecting
 Australia.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 are cosidering on Spain and
France
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
 people
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 remaining
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 New Zealand and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Linking Words
then follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
19 approximately on
Correct word order
approximately 19 per cent in the
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more than 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their
populaiton
Correct your spelling
population
 are making
decision
Correct article usage
the decision
show examples
 to
migrant
Replace the word
migrate
 to Australia. Either
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to Spain and
France
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
25mper
Correct your spelling
25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 are still
decied
Correct your spelling
decided
 to another three
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
 which are
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, New Zealand
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
Use synonyms
France
Correct word choice
and France
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, usa, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emigration
  • destination
  • peak
  • trend
  • attractiveness
  • decline
  • preference
  • economic factors
  • migration decisions
  • fluctuations
  • consistent choice
  • gradual increase
  • perceptions
  • living conditions
  • opportunities
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