IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Essay topics: Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In our era , a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 say
spend
Verb problem
to spend
show examples
 your
money
Use synonyms
, and not save it . In fact,
this
Linking Words
 has both positive and negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
.In my opinion, you can not
life
Replace the word
live
 without
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 At the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 you need to save
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 for your
futcher
Correct your spelling
future
. The
slotion
Correct your spelling
solution
 is
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 between save and spend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
this
Linking Words
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 will not have any benefits for you after you die. A
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 say that when they want to spend
money
Use synonyms
. In fact,
this
Linking Words
 is true, but you will not die now
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
 need
money
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
can not stop shopping ,and can not know what they want and what they need.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 do not spend
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 ever, until
when
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they need
.
Correct pronoun usage
it.
show examples
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to do relationship with somone spend
money
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, do not think about
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 days ,they just want to live
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 days.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 they spend and do not think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 I will do
in
Change preposition
the
show examples
 next day.
In addition
Linking Words
, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 depend on
Use synonyms
thire parnts
Correct your spelling
their parents
,brothers and sisters to spend on them.In fact, they should
relaize
Correct your spelling
realise
 in the end
Use synonyms
thire parnts
Correct your spelling
their parents
 will die ,
Use synonyms
thire
Correct your spelling
their
 brothers and sisters will
mared
Wrong verb form
marry
show examples
.They must depend on
themselfes
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 have
resposeble
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 more than them salery and power,that make them spend
Use synonyms
thire
Correct your spelling
their
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,you can not just save
money
Use synonyms
 or just spend
you
Punctuation problem
; you
show examples
 should
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
balance.
In addition
Linking Words
, do not forget the fucher
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 do not think more than you need.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , do not
bay
Correct your spelling
buy
 things you do not need , you should
now
Use the right word
know
show examples
 what you need and what you want.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why people spend money, and then say clearly if this is good or bad.
task response
Give one clear main idea in each body part. Then explain it with a simple reason or example.
task response
Use more direct examples from daily life, like food, rent, clothes, or phone bills.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an intro, body, and end, so the basic shape is good. But some ideas repeat and some parts are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Put similar ideas together in one paragraph. Do not move from one idea to another very fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well: First, Also, For example, However, So, In conclusion.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both spending and saving money.
task response
You give your opinion: people should balance saving and spending.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some link words like To begin with, Furthermore, Moreover, and In conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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