IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people say that ebook and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines . to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In
this
Linking Words
fast pace
Replace the word
fast-paced
 era, technology has taken over
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost all aspects of living life. As the use of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is increasing
everyday that the
Rephrase
every day
show examples
traditional
Punctuation problem
, traditional
show examples
 values
are at risk
Correct word order
such as newspapers and magazines are at risk
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as newspapers and magazines. I would discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons to use interent more and give my opinion in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
Due
Fix capitalization
due
show examples
 to accessibily of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, it has become more efficient to use a mobile phone for any kind of knowledge regarding any subject that physical books or papers
no
Verb problem
are no
show examples
 longer required.
For example
Linking Words
, certain apps related to any topic can be saved
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the phone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is so handy that one can open and read
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 wherever and whenever they want.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 like to explore something new everyday and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a source where you can get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unlimited knowledge and material, which
also
Linking Words
 led them to prefer electronic books.
For example
Linking Words
, physical magazines have limited pages
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sometimes it does not contain all the information
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
on
Correct word choice
but on
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
show examples
 all the global news
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and magazines are available.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a way to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant information in a more efficient way
but
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 there is still
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who tend to buy physical books rather than spending time on
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 require
to feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 the book
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they feel more comfortable by turning the pages
while
Linking Words
 reading because it gives them the sense of
fullfillment
Correct your spelling
fulfilment
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, knowing the fact that news is still available on the
internet
Use synonyms
, they still want to hold the newspaper in the morning with a cup of tea and
also
Linking Words
enjoys
Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoy
show examples
 the flyers that
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 with them. In Conclusion, the numerous benefits of technology and online sources of information can not be denied
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the
conventionals
Replace the word
conventional
 ways
are
Change preposition
of
show examples
 reading cannot become extinct because
these
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are
more close
Replace the word
closer
 to
people
Use synonyms
 in
way
Check wording
terms
show examples
 of feeling and
fullfillment
Correct your spelling
fulfilment

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this view the same in the whole essay.
task response
Add a stronger main idea for each body paragraph. Each paragraph should have one clear point, then explain it well.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your examples are relevant, but they are general. Add one real or clear case to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Some sentences are too long or not clear, so the reader may get lost.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and clear way. Words like first, also, however, and in conclusion can help, but use them carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. The second paragraph is about internet benefits, and the third is about why some people still like paper. Make this contrast clearer.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both online reading and paper reading.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph plan, so the reader can see the main parts.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: