IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of patrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The growing traffic and increased of
pollution
Use synonyms
 can be solved effectively by increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
patrol
Use the right word
petrol
show examples
. The Argument about the
rise
Use synonyms
 of
patrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 came every year and
seen
Verb problem
was seen
show examples
 as
controversial
Correct article usage
a controversial
show examples
 act. For some people, it is one of the fast way to
pushed
Wrong verb form
push
show examples
 down
vehicle
Use synonyms
 population and
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 the
pollution
Use synonyms
 levels. Some
debating
Wrong verb form
debate
show examples
 that rising
patrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 causing more harm than good. In
this
Linking Words
 case, I agree that increasing
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
patrol
Use the right word
petrol
show examples
 effectively
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 traffic growth and
pollution
Use synonyms
. The
Patrol
Use synonyms
 needed by fuel-based
vehicle
Use synonyms
. When the
price
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
patrol rising
Wrong verb form
petrol rises
show examples
, the owner
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to spend more money or to stop using their
vehicle
Use synonyms
. Another option is to switch to
Electronic
Correct determiner usage
an Electric
show examples
Vehicle
Use synonyms
 (EV), which
the
Check wording
apply
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 is not cheap. If they
intent
Replace the word
intend
 to make it economical, they have to take public
transportation
Use synonyms
. The action of stop using private
Use synonyms
vehicle
Check wording
vehicles
show examples
 and
begin
Wrong verb form
beginning
show examples
 to use public
transportation
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can reduce the volume of
vehicle
Use synonyms
 in the road and decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
Use synonyms
. The
rise
Use synonyms
 of
pattrol
Correct your spelling
petrol
price
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 only affecting
citizen
Check wording
citizens
show examples
 who own
Use synonyms
vehicle
Check wording
vehicles
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of
overall
Linking Words
goods
Use synonyms
.
Transportation
Use synonyms
 is
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 part of the
price
Use synonyms
decission
Correct your spelling
decision
. The
vehicle
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for transporting the
goods
Use synonyms
 is mainly
fuel-based
Correct article usage
a fuel-based
show examples
vehicle
Use synonyms
. If the cost of
transportation
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
rise
Use synonyms
 of
patrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
, so does the
price
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
. To control the population of
Use synonyms
vehicle
Check wording
vehicles
show examples
 and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the level of
poluttion
Correct your spelling
pollution
 by raising the
patrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 is not wise. Looking at both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
, there are
goods
Use synonyms
 argument and
vision
Check wording
views
show examples
 on the
rise
Use synonyms
 of
price
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
patrol
Use the right word
petrol
show examples
. I agree that the
Use synonyms
rise
Replace the word
rising
price
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
patrol
Use the right word
petrol
show examples
 pushed people to look for
alternative
Check wording
alternatives
show examples
 in
transportation
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 effectively
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 traffic growth and
pollution
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly how much you agree, and give more than one other way to cut traffic and air harm.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. One paragraph should focus on one point only.
task response
Add simple examples to support your ideas, such as better bus service, car sharing, or rules for city centers.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, and in the end.
task response
Check that your last paragraph matches your full view. In your essay, one part supports the idea, but another part says it is not wise.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences so the reader can follow your plan from the start of each paragraph.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and again in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
task response
You try to explain cause and effect between fuel cost, car use, and air harm.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: