Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

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These days, the health of
children
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has globally become one of the major issues, largely
due to
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the diseases that were previously observed only in adults,
such
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as obesity. It might be the result of the two
lifestyle
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shifts;
first,
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a sedentary
lifestyle
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is becoming common in
children
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's lives because of technological advancements, and
second,
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unhealthy
food
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that kids consume,
such
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as fast
food
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and snacks, which contain a high amount of fat and sugar.
However
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, there are several steps that the government and
parents
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can take to maintain
children
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's health. First and foremost, the sedentary
lifestyle
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, which leads to excessive weight, is common amongst kids, unfortunately.
This
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is primarily
due to
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the fact that modern youngsters prefer playing video games, chatting with friends online, or just watching movies and cartoons over playing outside.
Moreover
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, in some areas,
such
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as South Asia or Latin America, the lack of safe playgrounds forces
children
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to remain indoors.
Consequently
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, these factors, which are deeply rooted in modern
lifestyle
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shifts, significantly hinder
children
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's metabolic function. Another key factor is that the
food
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for
children
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is today high in fat, salt and sugar,
instead
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of healthy nutrients. To illustrate, studies have shown that
children
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who are exposed to fast
food
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advertisements are twice as likely to consume
such
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products regularly, directly contributing to weight gain. Regarding solutions,
firstly
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,
parents
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should dedicate more time to monitoring
children
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's activities and encouraging them to attend sports activities regularly. By setting a personal example - whether through morning exercise, cycling, or even a walk -
parents
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can effectively motivate their offspring to embrace a more active
lifestyle
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.
Besides
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, the government should apply rigid regulations on the
food
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and advertising industries. What's more, free healthy meals ought to be provided by schools, supplemented by a range of sports activities tailored to students' preferences. In conclusion, a set of problems can be causes for the
children
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's health issues.
Thus
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, multisectoral collaboration between the government, schools and
parents
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can solve
this
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problem. It is evident that
children
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who engage in regular physical activity are far less likely to develop weight-related conditions compared to those leading a sedentary
lifestyle
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.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. You explain causes and solutions well, but some ideas can be more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then add support. This will make your points easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.
task response
Add a stronger final sentence in the conclusion that clearly answers the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. You already use them well, but a few places can sound more natural.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples, such as fast food ads and lack of safe play areas, to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order from causes to solutions.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Prevalent
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Comfort eating
  • Screen time
  • Physical education
  • Nutritional education
  • Economic disparities
  • Food deserts
  • Subsidize
  • Advertising
  • Weight management
  • Junk food
  • Healthy food options
  • Physical activity
  • Body image
  • Counseling
  • Consumer education
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