IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has changed the world and how people live. Many people say that it has created problems for both the indivicual and society. To what extent do you agree?

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It is undeniable that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has changed the world we live in today.
However
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, everything comes at a price. That being said, I believe its pros outweigh its cons.
Therefore
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, I partially agree. The
internet
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 has revolutionised the way we live today. It has undoubtedly brought many benefits to society.
Additionally
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, it has transformed multiple industries,
such
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 as education, business and entertainment.
For example
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, education was fully online during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 epidemic.
Which at
Correct pronoun usage
At
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 the time of turmoil,
benefitted
Correct your spelling
it benefited
 students and somewhat gave a sense of normalcy.
Moreover
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, it has allowed many
people
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 to work from home or operate businesses.
This
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 is highlighted in
people
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 with disabilities who may not be able to commute daily. What's more,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 has made entertainment in multiple forms readily accessible.
For instance
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, streaming services, audiobooks and music. Many individuals spend excessive periods of time on their smart devices.
While
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 that may not inherently be a negative thing, it still exposes individuals to multiple risks. Namely, hackers or impersonators. What's more, it has introduced unrealistic beauty standards for women
especially
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, especially
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. Highly altered images
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as
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, as
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 well as
,
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apply
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 the increased popularity of plastic surgeries makes females feel more insecure and undesirable.
Thereafter
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, many
people
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 would try
and
Correct word choice
to
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 find refuge on the
internet
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, where misinformation has spread like
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wildfire. It has gotten harder to verify news sources in light of the rise of artificial intelligence. Especially, since everyone, whether qualified or not, now has access to platforms that may affect millions of
people
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.
This
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 creates an increasingly vulnerable space for social divisions. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the
internet
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 has many disadvantages.
Moretheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, I partially agree that it has created problems for individuals and society. That being said, these issues are man-made on the
internet
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.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
show examples
it's
Correct determiner usage
its
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 positive contributions are far greater than
it's
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 negative, it all comes down to awareness and moderation in usage

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say the good side is stronger, so say this in a direct way and keep the same view in the end.
task response
Add one more clear example for the problems of the internet. This will make your ideas stronger and more full.
task response
Explain some ideas more. For example, show how false news can harm people or society in a real way.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentence links smooth. Some short parts like 'Especially' or 'Which at the time of turmoil' should join the full sentence before or after them.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences that clearly show the main point of each body paragraph. This helps the reader follow your plan.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with word links like 'thereafter' and 'what's more'. Sometimes they do not fit the meaning well.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear view: you partly agree.
task response
You include both sides of the topic, with good points about work, study, safety, and social media.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped well, with one paragraph on benefits and one on problems.
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