IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Sharing
information
Use synonyms
 is generally considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good idea.
This
Linking Words
 act helps society to grow and expand and
get
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become
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 successful over time.
Information
Use synonyms
 helps in growth and is considered a major step that guides and helps in innovation in many ways possible Individual beliefs that sharing
information
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 is generally
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 considered good.
This
Linking Words
 could help in
break throughs
Correct your spelling
breakthroughs
 in many fields. Spreading
information
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 could help society to grow
which
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, which
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 the country in future.
This
Linking Words
 could
also
Linking Words
 boost
moral
Replace the word
morale
 in children
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 act could increase the literacy rate in the area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, giving free
information
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 contribute in the development of new and innovative technology.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Some
Fix capitalization
some
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 people hold the opposite view and believe in not sharing the
information
Use synonyms
 freely. Because
information
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 and data
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 the core value of your belongings and your
business sensitive
Correct your spelling
business-sensitive
 content. In today's
era
Punctuation problem
era,
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 the safety of the
information
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 has become a challenge for many business individuals
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 growth in technology
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
has also
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 increased the risks of getting attacked by hackers who
tries
Correct subject-verb agreement
try
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 to take the
information
Use synonyms
 to blackmail the person and destroy the content which the hacker hacked. My opinion is
both
Correct word choice
that both
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 views are equally important.
Information
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 which is not considered sensitive should be used freely,
while
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 the
information
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 or data which is highly sensitive to
malicioius
Correct your spelling
malicious
 attacks should be encryted which helps to avoid the attacks and prevent leakage of data.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but the ideas are short.
task response
Give a clearer opinion from the start and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences so each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Connect ideas more clearly with words like first, also, however, and in my view.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point before moving to the next one.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your main idea is easy to follow in most parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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