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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, whilst proponents believe that travelling abroad has a positive impact on individuals and society, opponents have a diverse view that immigration has led to the brain drain of youth.I am of the belief that
travel
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 abroad has advantages that outweigh the disadvantages to the community. In the beginning, numerous individuals tend to
travel
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 to developed
countries
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 for purposes related to education or job opportunities.
In other words
Linking Words
, with the accessibility and availability of smartphones to everyone, a plethora of youth tend to discover the
worldwide
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world
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 via social media platforms.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for improving personal growth and career
development
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for
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in
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 the future.
Thus
Linking Words
, it can be said that travellers can be exposed to different backgrounds and exchange cultures among
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Travelling can be beneficial for the community through cultural diversity. To illustrate, teenagers tend to
travel
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 abroad for academic studies or
improve
Verb problem
to improve
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 their financial situations. An eminent examples a myriad of developed
countries
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 open to scholarship opportunities for young people, and
also
Linking Words
 to immigration in international
countries
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, exchanging information and acquiring new skills through communication with different
countries
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 can enhance the individual's career growth
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will benefit the economic
development
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 of people. In conclusion, by
analyzing
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analysing
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 the above - mentioned points, it can be reiterated that
travel
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 to other
countries
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 plays a crucial role in the
development
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 of the community through learning different cultures and visiting historical buildings. I believe that travellers can
build easily
Correct word order
easily build
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 a relationship with others that will definitely enhance
on
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apply
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societal
development
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 positively.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say why people travel, and say more clearly why this is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. One body part can be about why people travel. The next can be about why this is a good change.
task response
Give one real and clear example, not a general idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Some ideas do not fully match the topic. Focus on travel to other countries, not only moving there for long-term stay.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you think this is more positive than negative.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
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