Nowadays, young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, many young people admire

media

Use synonyms

and sports figures, even though they do not behave responsibly. I believe

this

Linking Words

is mainly a negative development because it can influence young people's behaviour and take up their valuable time.

Firstly

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, many modern

stars

Use synonyms

lifestyle that are not suitable for young people.

For example

Linking Words

media

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

often post photos of parties, drinking or showing expensive items on social

media

Use synonyms

in order to brag. Teenagers may try to copy these behaviours because they think it will make them popular.

This

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brings about unhealthy habits and poor decision-making.

In addition

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, some influencers use fake data to look perfect.

As a result

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, the young population's self-confidence and insecurity will decrease, and it will be discouraging for them.

Secondly

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, the admiration of celebrities can give

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

community the wrong idea about success. Many famous

crowd

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crowds

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become popular very quickly, which makes teenagers believe that fame is more important than education or hard work.

Instead

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of focusing on their studies or learning useful skills, some young folk spend a lot of time watching

such

Linking Words

stars

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This

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can affect their long-term goals and reduce their chances of achieving real success in life.

Furthermore

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, when

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

population pay too much attention to celebrities, they forget about positive role models

such

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as teachers

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apply

show examples

and others who make valuable contributions to society. In conclusion,

although

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some celebrities may have positive qualities, I believe that admiring

media

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and sports

stars

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does not set a good example. It can impact

young

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the young

show examples

public’s behaviour

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apply

show examples

and understanding of what success truly means.

musabekovaferuza50

Jun 19, 2026

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task response

Make each main idea more clear with one full example.

task response

Explain more why this is a negative change for young people.

task response

Use more exact examples, not only general ideas about stars.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like also, so, and because.

coherence and cohesion

Keep word forms correct, for example young people instead of young public.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences more direct at the start of each body part.

task response

You answer the question and give a clear opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.

coherence and cohesion

Your main points are mostly easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media personalities
sports icons
role models
admiration
influence
behavior
mindset
values
unethical behavior
healthy lifestyles
social media platforms
celebrity culture
career aspirations
educational goals
positive change
ethical standards
amplify
idolize
public perception
impressionable

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Nowadays, young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

A for and against essay about the internet. Is the internet bad for young people?

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have been experiencing problem with the local transport. Write a letter to the manager of the public transportation service and say: -How have you used the local public transport? -What problems have you experience? -Suggest how they can improve the service

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that fu rther increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world’s fuel resources To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.