Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government of the country to ensure a healthy lifestyle for its people, while others believe that individuals should be free to make decisions for their lifestyles. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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a controversial issue about government should register citizens to be more healthy lifeform.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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some
people
Use synonyms
claim that
enforce
Wrong verb form
enforcing
show examples
the public through a law can solve any problem, I would firmly argue that wellness would be made via democracy. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
claim that
enact
Wrong verb form
enacting
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a rule may
individuals
Verb problem
enable individuals
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be more healthy life.
In other words
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, most
people
Use synonyms
's wellness is
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
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reponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
For instance
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, many countries
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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a national health insurance, which
keeping
Wrong verb form
keeps
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people
Use synonyms
check
Wrong verb form
checking
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their body conditions
reguraly
Correct your spelling
regularly
. Thanks to
this
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rule, a lot of
illness
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illnesses
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,
such
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as
cancels
Replace the word
cancers
,
cardiovescular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
problems,
respiritive
Correct your spelling
respiratory
issues can be detected earlier, before
become
Correct pronoun usage
they become
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serious problems.
Therefore
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,
People
Use synonyms
could
expectation
Replace the word
expect a
more extended life-expectancy.
On the other hand
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, others
consist
Verb problem
argue
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that excessive rules could
be
Verb problem
apply
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decrease not only
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
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life happiness but
also
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their
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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. Indeed, there are
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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jobs
Change preposition
of jobs
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and
people
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in a country. Some occupations unnecessary any pshycal activities,
such
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as professors, accounters, and doctors. These professional workers play
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important role in their position and demand great focus, even has no
afford
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time
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to
do work-out
Verb problem
work out
show examples
. In conclusion,
There
Fix capitalization
there
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are controversial
dabates
Correct your spelling
debates
over whether or not gouvernments responsibility to the public. Some
people
Use synonyms
consist
Verb problem
contend
show examples
that a intence regulation allows individuals
more
Verb problem
to be
show examples
healthier.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that too much
enforcemetns
Correct your spelling
enforcement
results to invade of everyone's life.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why each side is good or bad in a full way.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the intro and keep it the same in the end.
task response
Add one more clear example for the second side, not only the first side.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the start of each body part so the reader can follow your plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, so, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea and explain it step by step.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
task response
You included an example about health insurance to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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