Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government of the country to ensure a healthy lifestyle for its people, while others believe that individuals should be free to make decisions for their lifestyles. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is a controversial issue about government should register citizens to be more healthy lifeform.
Although
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,
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apply
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some people claim that enforcing the public through a law can solve any problem, I would firmly argue that wellness would be made via democracy. On the one hand, many people claim that enacting a rule may enable individuals be more healthy life.
In other words
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, most
family's
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families'
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wellness is the nation's responsibility.
For instance
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, many countries have a national health insurance, which keeps society checking their body conditions regularly. Thanks to
this
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rule, a lot of illnesses,
such
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as cancers, cardiovascular problems,
respiratory
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and respiratory
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issues
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issues,
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can be detected earlier, before they become serious problems.
Therefore
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,
crowd
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the crowd
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could expect a more extended life-expectancy.
On the other hand
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, others argue that excessive rules could decrease not only individuals' life happiness but
also
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their rights. Indeed, there are a variety of jobs and
population
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a population
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in a country. Some occupations unnecessary any pshycal activities,
such
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as professors, accounters, and doctors. These professional workers play an important role in their position and demand great focus, even
has
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having
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no time to work out. In conclusion, there are controversial debates over whether or not gouvernments responsibility to the public. Some
community
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communities
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contend that a intence regulation allows individuals to be healthier.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that too much enforcement results to invade of everyone's life.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about the government side and the personal freedom side, but both parts need more detail.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from start to end. Your view is there, but some lines are hard to follow.
task response
Use examples that fit the idea more closely. Your health insurance example is useful, but the second side needs a stronger example.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like first, also, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to understand, so the flow is weak. Write shorter sentences with simple clear meaning.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use one real example about national health insurance to support your point.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • healthy lifestyle
  • public health
  • take responsibility
  • personal choice
  • free to decide
  • make healthy choices
  • low-cost health care
  • safe roads
  • food quality
  • clear food labels
  • high tax on cigarettes
  • limit alcohol ads
  • government control
  • individual freedom
  • daily habits
  • balanced diet
  • regular exercise
  • mental health
  • public services
  • long-lasting change
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