IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel between finishing high school and starting a university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Nowadays,the young
people
Use synonyms
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
 to
work
Use synonyms
 or
traval
Correct your spelling
travel
 after
finshing studing
Correct your spelling
finishing studying
 and starting
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 level in
universtiy
Correct your spelling
university
 has become common in modern society.
This
Linking Words
 viewpoint offers
savral
Correct your spelling
several
 benefits for
work
Use synonyms
 after
finshing
Correct your spelling
finishing
 high school or
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
 city to
take a
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 , it
also
Linking Words
 has some
drawback
Check wording
drawbacks
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
advantgaes
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and travel
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 .
on
Use the right word
One
show examples
 of the mine advantage of
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
 in
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 early ages
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
adlocens
Correct your spelling
adolescence
age
Punctuation problem
age,
show examples
 is
signifcant
Correct your spelling
significant
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 they depeanding to our self in every thing to the lives
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they feel to responsplity for going to
work
Use synonyms
 every
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 and how to
sefe
Correct your spelling
secure
 their
monay
Correct your spelling
money
, all
Linking Words
this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things
show examples
 can
emproved
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 the
personailty
Correct your spelling
personality
 for young
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 of travel the young
people
Use synonyms
outsid
Correct your spelling
outside
 the
countries
Check wording
country
show examples
 is
people
Use synonyms
fealing alonar
Correct your spelling
feeling alone
 and
no body
Correct your spelling
nobody
 can take care for him if he scik,
this
Linking Words
fealing
Correct your spelling
feeling
 is not good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 becoues can
led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
depresser
Correct your spelling
depression
 or
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
tarm
Correct your spelling
time
, so the friend is very
imbortant
Correct your spelling
important
 in
this
Linking Words
 period of
lives
Check wording
life
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe
from
Correct word choice
that from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age
durning chiledhood
Correct your spelling
during childhood
 will
carege
Correct your spelling
encourage
 the
pearnts
Correct your spelling
parents
 to
sends
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
both the son and
giral
Correct your spelling
girl
 to
trip
Use the right word
travel
show examples
 without the mother or father
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can preparing him to future life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides in a clear way. Write one main good point and one main bad point with simple support.
task response
Your ideas are there, but they are not clear enough. Use short sentences and explain each point step by step.
task response
Give one real or simple example for each main point. This will make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a start and an end, but the middle is hard to follow. Make one paragraph for good points and one for bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words like First, Also, However, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence. Some sentences now have too many problems, so the meaning is not easy to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both work and travel.
task response
You gave at least one good side and one bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to organize the essay into parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: