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Writing Samples
Band 5

Companies use a variety of methods to improve the sales of their products. What are those methods? Which is the most effective method?

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Nowadays, companies are using a wide range of strategies to increase the
sales
Use synonyms
 of their products. These methods include advertising, discounts, and improving
product
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 quality. Among these approaches, I believe that advertising is the most effective method because it helps
reaching
Wrong verb form
reach
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 a larger audience and influence consumer decisions. One common method used by
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 is advertising through television, social media, and online platforms.Effective
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 can attrack consumer's attention and raise
there
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their
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 awareness about the
product
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.Another popular strategy is offering discounts and special
promotion
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promotions
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. Many
customers
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 get encouraged to purchase a
product
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 when it is available at reduced
pricies
Correct your spelling
prices
 or if it is a
limited time
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limited-time
 offer.
For example
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,on special
occasions
Add a comma
occasions,
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 many boutiques
implements
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implement
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 discounts and people tend to immediately take advantage of these
sales
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.
In addition
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, companies
also
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 often
foucus
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focus
 on improving the quality and the design of their products to
stisfy
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satisfy
customers
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 and encourage repeat purchases.
Nevertheless
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, the most effective way to boost
sales
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 is advertising.The main reason is that even high-quality products cannot be successful if consumers are unaware of them.Through advertising, businesses can introduce their
product
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 to millions of potential
customers
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.
For instance
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, each year Apple
launche
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launches
 a marketing
campaigns
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campaign
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 for the new
Iphone
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iPhone
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 before releasing it,creating excitement and increasing demand.
As a result
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,
sales
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 often rise significantly shortly after the phone becomes available. In conclusion, businesses are using
a
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apply
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various methods to increase
the
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apply
show examples
sales
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as advertising,promotional offers,and
product
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 development.
However
Linking Words
,I believe that the most effective one is
advertisment
Replace the word
advertising
 because it
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 companies to reach a wider range of
customers
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. You name the methods well, but you can explain why each one works a little more.
task response
Make your main idea very clear in each body part, then add one or two strong details.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your Apple example is good, but it can be a bit more clear and full.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. At times, the jump from one point to the next is a bit fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence joining and small grammar errors, because they can make the flow less easy to follow.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You give more than one method to improve sales.
task response
You clearly choose advertising as the best method.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are put in a logical order.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'another', 'in addition', 'nevertheless', and 'for instance'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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