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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more business as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face-to-face.What is advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communication

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Large amount of businesses
as well as
Linking Words
 ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 to communicate using technology over traditional face-to-face meetings. There are plenty of pros
of
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 cons of
this
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 action. For business representives modern technologies can save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
Use synonyms
 and
also
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 defeat the problem of distance
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 in personal life
chatting
Punctuation problem
, chatting
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 can not replace real life meeting. On one hand, today's communication technologies
such
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 as Zoom or Skype became beneficial tool for business
people
Use synonyms
. The reason is that they can negotiate and meet with partners
in
Change preposition
at
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 any
time
Use synonyms
 and
any
Change preposition
under any
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condition
Check wording
conditions
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, without transporting and spending
time
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 for preparation.
Furthermore
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, it
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people
Use synonyms
 in everyday communications, especially for
people
Use synonyms
 who work abroad far from family. It makes some
people
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nearer
Change preposition
closer to
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 each other.
For example
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, after
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
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pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
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this
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 trend
become
Verb problem
has become
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 usual for business projects to be discussed online
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 even
head
Fix the agreement mistake
heads
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 of
states
Check wording
state
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 speak through online translation
instead
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 of standing on the tribune of the UN.
On the other hand
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, social
communicating
Replace the word
communication
 nowadays is
also
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 appearing online.
People
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, especially youth
making
Wrong verb form
, make
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 friends online on platforms and
chatting
Wrong verb form
chat
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 with them through platforms. By chatting person can not share emotions, show
the feeling
Check wording
feelings
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 of love, suffer, happiness.
While
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 face to face meeting can open
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access not only for emotion sharing but
also
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 for doing
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 together, which will lead to team building and make relations stronger.
For example
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, psychologists claim that in order to get out of depression,
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 is recommended to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with friends,
what's
Correct word choice
and what's
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 more
interesting
Punctuation problem
interesting,
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 real life conversation make you feel happier.
This
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 means
,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are choosing communication technologies over traditional
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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 can catch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression or even
worth
Replace the word
worse
. In conclusion, online
technolgies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 can not totally replace face-to-face conversations, ireespective it creates
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 to shorten the distance, for businesses to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and even for
head
Check wording
heads
show examples
 of countries to make
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
show examples
 shorter.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. Write one clear good point and one clear bad point with full support.
task response
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body part.
task response
Use examples that are simple and direct. Make sure each example clearly supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words like on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Do not mix business and family ideas too much in the same part.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order so each next sentence grows from the one before it.
task response
You answer the full question and talk about both good and bad sides.
task response
You give real examples such as Zoom, Skype, and life after the pandemic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words to move from one idea to the next.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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