IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Nowadays, a variety of research has significantly spread worldwide, which is conducted by private companies.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 countries should shoulder them for their own benefits. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 topic.
Initially
Linking Words
, the main benefit of controlling experiments by authorities leads to a prestigious reputation in the global arena. It leads to a significant growth in various fields,
such
Linking Words
 as tourism, education and so on. To illustrate, in Germany, after significant growth in the engineering field, considerable engineer migration was recured to there. In
this
Linking Words
 case, people tend to send their children abroad for their education.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some medical breakthroughs,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 vaccines and essential medicines , which were developed after government-controlled research, are more accessible, enabling their use without restrictions. To be more specific, it helps to inhibit the patent monopolies.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, when the investigation results in successful outcomes, countries obtain some significant economic returns.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it provides a positive monetary effect for society. Respectively, it impacts the welfare of citizenships,
then
Linking Words
, it leads to promote in order to doing exploration.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 non-public institutions play a massive role in modern science today.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I believe that collaboration with the authority encompass much better sides for a nation. Publicly funded experimentation not only improves a country's global renown and attracts youths or experts from other locations, but it
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 makes essential health products more reachable by blocking private patent monopolies. Ultimately, when they were managed scientific studies, the economic and social returns directly enhance the well-being of communities and encourage
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 work.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree, and keep this same view in all body parts.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it step by step.
task response
Use more exact examples. Your Germany example is not fully clear or closely linked to government research control.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph easier to follow. Start with a topic sentence, then add explanation, then an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, such as First, Also, For example, As a result, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear sentences and extra commas, because they make the meaning hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is mostly clear: you support government control of research.
task response
You include some relevant ideas, such as public access to medicine and economic gain.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • carried out
  • controlled
  • governments
  • private companies
  • unbiased
  • prioritize
  • profit
  • public interest
  • allocate resources
  • lucrative
  • collaboration
  • information sharing
  • confidential
  • competitive advantage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: