IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S. Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preferences. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie chart illustrates the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
frequency of U.S. Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, including Weekly, A few times a month, Less often and
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 never
buys
Correct subject-verb agreement
buy
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it seems that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most people
shop
Use synonyms
 frequencly was Less often to
shop
Use synonyms
 online,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 online shopping
weekly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
was the highest in 2015. Adults who
shop
Use synonyms
 online enjoys quite many times Less often at 37%, and A few times a month was the next most popular entertain the shopping around 28%.
Linking Words
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
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 20% who didn't
shop
Use synonyms
 online was the third amount of the first chart.
In addition
Linking Words
, about 15% of people who goes to shopping weekly
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was the lowest percentage
od
Correct your spelling
of
 the pie chart.
However
Linking Words
,
preference
Correct article usage
the preference
show examples
 of US adults who purchase online, who
shops
Correct subject-verb agreement
shop
show examples
 in pysical store was the higest in Less frequent online shoppers
approximatley
Punctuation problem
, approximatley
show examples
 80%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 purchase objects
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 lowest at Less frequent online shoppers
part
Use the right word
at
show examples
 about 18%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
individual
Check wording
individuals
show examples
 who
buys
Correct subject-verb agreement
buy
show examples
 objects in store was the
most
Rephrase
apply
show examples
lowest at Weekly online shoppers.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • bar chart
  • online purchasing habits
  • frequency
  • classification
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • demographics
  • consumer trends
  • e-commerce
  • data interpretation
  • purchasing categories
  • fiscal analysis
  • technological influence
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