IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that it is, therefore, important to spend money researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the forthcoming period, individuals may have to dwell on other
planets
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Mars.A number of them think that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
allocatin
Correct your spelling
allocating
 funds to research these
planets
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 necessary.
Although
Linking Words
 I accept that
this
Linking Words
 kind of
explore
Replace the word
exploration
 requires a huge
amount
Use synonyms
 of
investing
Replace the word
investment
 that can be spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving global challenges. I mostly believe that investings for space exploration is essential for the long time period for
humanity
Use synonyms
. It is undeniable that countries are spending a significant
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on investigating
planets
Use synonyms
 that can be capable of sustaining life,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 vast
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 could be addressed to more urgent concerns on
Earth
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as global warming, air and plastic pollution, poverty,
hunger
Correct word choice
and hunger
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the substantial
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on Mars could be used to provide education and healthcare for citizens
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 live in extreme poverty across the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the current level of technology is not sufficient to provide healthy living conditions in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term, as extreme weather conditions of other
planets
Use synonyms
, given that Mars experiences low atmospheric pressure and high levels of radiation.
However
Linking Words
,
Earth
Use synonyms
's natural resources are limited
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they could be depleted,
Linking Words
therefore
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
exploring other
planets
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Mars is crucial for
longevity
Correct article usage
the longevity
show examples
 of
humanity
Use synonyms
, especially
fossil
Correct word choice
as fossil
show examples
 fuels and rural lands
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continue to diminish. The global population is rapidly rising, which means that not everyone
could be able to
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 access
Earth
Use synonyms
's limited space and natural resources
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as fresh water,
for instance
Linking Words
 countries
such
Linking Words
 as India and some parts of Africa are experiencing
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of water and poverty.
As a result
Linking Words
, monetising space exploration becomes essential to support
humanity
Use synonyms
 in the future. In conclusion, research for life on other
planets
Use synonyms
 claims a huge
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 that could be used for
Earth
Use synonyms
 problems
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I truly believe that investing in
this
Linking Words
 type of research on other
planets
Use synonyms
 is necessary to guarantee
humanity
Use synonyms
's future.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree in the first paragraph and keep this position all through the essay.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one or two clear sentences to explain why your point is important.
task response
Use examples that are more exact. For example, explain how space research may help human life in the future.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and clearer. A few ideas are hard to follow because the sentence is too long.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some links are good, but a few parts need smoother connection between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your argument easier to follow.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use some good examples about poverty, water, and Mars.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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