IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and replace by traditional food preparation. To waht extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Ready
meals
Use synonyms
 will completely replace traditional cooking. In my opinion,
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 will become more and more popular
due to
Linking Words
 busy lifestyles, and will replace classic cooking. On the one hand,
Convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 has seen a significant rise over the past year, gaining popularity for a variety of reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the busy
lifestyle
Add a comma
lifestyle,
show examples
 many people tend to pick up ready
meals
Use synonyms
 that
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 need to be cooked.These
meals
Use synonyms
 only need to be microwaved
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 many students and workers love, because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 take
time
Use synonyms
 and no cooking is required.These days, fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants are everywhere, offering tasty
meals
Use synonyms
 at very low prices that are perfect for working people trying to save money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these
meals
Use synonyms
 are replacing traditional cooking.Many individuals stopped buying cooking ingredients
andinstead
Correct your spelling
and instead
 bought
already cooked
Correct your spelling
already-cooked
meals
Use synonyms
 that saved them
time
Use synonyms
 and effort.
Also
Linking Words
, parents are purchasing
pre cooked
Correct your spelling
pre-cooked
meals
Use synonyms
 that require
minimum preperation
Replace the word
minimal preparation
 for their
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 lunchboxes.Frozen
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
chickennuggets
Correct your spelling
chicken nuggets
, fries, and burgers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 being bought by parents shopping for their youngsters.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I think traditional
food
Use synonyms
 is being replaced by
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 in our
modern day
Correct your spelling
modern-day
 society.Prepared
meals
Use synonyms
saves
Correct subject-verb agreement
save
show examples
 so much
time
Use synonyms
 and actually
tases
Wrong verb form
taste
show examples
 good,
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
 traditional cooking takes a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 and energy and might end up tasting bad.Today,
supermarkts
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 are filled with ready
meals
Use synonyms
 designed for all ages. In conclusion,
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is slowly replacing classic cooking. Ready
meals
Use synonyms
 are quick and easy to make, requiring minimal preparation
time
Use synonyms
 compared to traditional dishes that involve multiple steps and take longer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say if you fully agree, partly agree, or disagree, and keep this clear in all parts.
task response
Add one or two reasons for the other side. This will make your view more balanced and more complete.
task response
Use more clear examples. For example, talk about one family, one worker, or one student.
task response
Some ideas are repeated, like saving time. Add new points, such as health, cost, or family culture.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas more clearly. One paragraph can be about why ready meals grow, and one can be about why traditional cooking may still stay.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Good words are: first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some parts are too long and need full stops or better spacing.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one clear main idea, then add support after it.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
Your main idea is easy to understand: busy life makes ready meals more common.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic paragraph shape with an opening, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some simple linking ideas such as on the one hand, on the other hand, moreover, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: