IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore, every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Access to clean
water
Use synonyms
 should be for the general public, as it's considered a basic human
right
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 going through
finanicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 struggles shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 worry about having clean
water
Use synonyms
 to drink and use, since
water
Use synonyms
 is
part
Use synonyms
 of nature
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes it a public property.
However
Linking Words
, selling
water
Use synonyms
 would help
companies
Use synonyms
 gain the
money
Use synonyms
 to improve their facilities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will result in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better quality
water
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
water
Use synonyms
 is a public
Use synonyms
right
Punctuation problem
right,
show examples
 even if
companies
Use synonyms
 need the
money
Use synonyms
 to improve their facilities
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
lot of poor
people
Use synonyms
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 afford
this
Linking Words
 basic
right
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are going through different types of struggles, whether they were born into a poor family or they are going through
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
crisis
Use synonyms
. Clean
water
Use synonyms
should'nt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 be something that they worry about as it's a basic
right
Use synonyms
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 a luxury.
In addition
Linking Words
,
water
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 is found everywhere
oceans
Punctuation problem
, oceans
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, rivers,
pond
Check wording
ponds
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, and underground
its
Punctuation problem
. It's
show examples
 a public property we all own
it
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 including the
sanitizing
Change the spelling
sanitising
show examples
part
Use synonyms
won'
Correct pronoun usage
, which won't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 justify the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 poor
people
Use synonyms
 need to pay.
For instance
Linking Words
,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in poor areas die
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of thirst
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as places in some
Use synonyms
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
Afrca
Correct your spelling
Africa
,
south
Fix capitalization
South
show examples
 Asia, and
southeast
Fix capitalization
Southeast
show examples
 Asia. All of these
people
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 struggle
in finding
Wrong verb form
to find
show examples
 their basic human needs
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as clean
water
Use synonyms
 to use and drink.
However
Linking Words
, the
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
 of extracting or
the sanitizing
Change the spelling
sanitising
show examples
water
Use synonyms
takes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is
quit
Use the right word
quite
show examples
 expensive.
In addition
Linking Words
, selling it would help provide better quality
water
Use synonyms
 by improving the facilities of
water
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
water
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 to be free
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 will start misusing it
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
that
Correct word choice
since
show examples
 the world is going through
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
crisis
Use synonyms
. So
water
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 being accessible to everyone would lead
it to be
Correct word order
to it being
show examples
 used freely without any restrictions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
cause
Verb problem
would cause
show examples
 a bigger problem to the already
accuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
crisis
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, rich influencers who wouldn'
t
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 mind spending their
money
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 freely
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a mere example of the more the
abundent
Correct your spelling
abundant
 the thing is
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 more it will lose its value.
Overall
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be sold since
alot cant
Correct your spelling
a lot can't
 afford it
due to
Linking Words
 their financial struggles, and
water
Use synonyms
 is
part
Use synonyms
 of the public
property
Punctuation problem
property,
show examples
 so
everyonw
Correct your spelling
everyone
 owns it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
 have their rights to sell it that's becuase of all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
improvment
Check wording
improvements
show examples
 they
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 to produce clean
water
Use synonyms
.
As if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 it
was
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 accessible to the whole public for
free
Punctuation problem
free,
show examples
 it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 increase the
water
Use synonyms
crisis
Use synonyms
 happening in the world
currently
Punctuation problem
currently,
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 it being
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free with no restrictions.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your points more fully, so each idea has a clear reason and result.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea, and avoid repeating the same point.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples about poor people and water companies to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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