People buy good products that work, therefore, advertising is unnecessary and is no more than a form of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It has been observed that

people

Use synonyms

purchase the

products

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, they say there is no need

Change preposition

for

show examples

advertising. From my perspective, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

because advertising is a key part of modern business

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it will be

analyzed

Change the spelling

analysed

show examples

in the following essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

, advertising

creats

Correct your spelling

creates

a demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

products

Use synonyms

. If some companies

has a

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

new

products

Use synonyms

or safe ingredients, they would tell their customers about it and aim to

presuade

Correct your spelling

persuade

people

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that buying

Correct article usage

their

show examples

products

Use synonyms

will make them happier.

Moreover

Linking Words

, advertising

inform

Correct subject-verb agreement

informs

show examples

us about the choices we have.

For example

Linking Words

, let's talk about food

products

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Punctuation problem

, while

show examples

some customers have

allergy

Correct article usage

an allergy

show examples

of specific item or

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

diabetes, advertising will help them to know before buying and waste their money.

Secendly

Correct your spelling

Secondly

people

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enjoy adverts, especially if they use glamorous and successful

people

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as a poster or brochure to advertise

products

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In addition

Linking Words

, advertising should be regulated.

Some

Change preposition

In some

show examples

companies

Punctuation problem

, it

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is illegal to advertise

cigarette

Check wording

cigarettes

show examples

on television, which is good for children since they can easily

influnce

Correct your spelling

be influenced

Check wording

advertisements

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, advertising

become

Verb problem

has become

show examples

significant in the creative industry world. Because without

advertising

Punctuation problem

advertising,

show examples

we have

less

Correct determiner usage

fewer

show examples

choices.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I personally believe that

advertisement is a positive impact and

Correct word order

advertising has a positive impact and is

show examples

a form of modern art for

people

Use synonyms

around the world. And it is required in free market economics.

mona.hamedhi

Jun 23, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this clear in all body parts.

task response

Add more clear main ideas. Each body part should have one main point and then explain it well.

task response

Use one or two more real and clear examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Make links between ideas clearer. Use simple words like First, Also, For example, and In conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one idea in one part. Do not mix 'people enjoy adverts' with 'rules for adverts' in the same part.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order. Some sentences are hard to follow, so put the main idea first and the example after it.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

task response

You answer the topic and give your opinion.

task response

You use an example about food and health, which helps your ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

217 words

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