Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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Many argue that the government funds towards the arts are an extravagance, and the money could be better used to fund other matters.
While
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I can see why some
people
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think that, I completely disagree with
this
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belief, because
art
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is a creative outlet of
big
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great
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importance to society.
Firstly
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,
art
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is one of the most fundamental forms of human connection. It allows individuals to find creative ways to express themselves, which is important to both the artist and the consumers of the
art
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, because artistic expression can help
people
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to get in touch with and understand different ways to see the world. Producing and consuming
art
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is
also
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good from a neurological standpoint, since the five senses (sight, touch, taste, smell and hearing) are activated in both the artist and consumer, helping with neuroplasticity, which is the way our brain and nervous system
makes
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make
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new synapses throughout our lives.
Secondly
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, governmental funds towards the arts
allows
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allow
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artists to keep working towards their crafts and
helps
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help
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art
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consumers continue to support, because creating and producing
art
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is very expensive when we consider that
they are
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it is
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not a priority to most
people
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. Since
art
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is frequently considered to be an expense
instead
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of a priority, needs like food, housing, transport and savings usually come first in the list of priorities to most
people
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. Governmental funds not only
helps
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help
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make
art
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more democratic
to
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in
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society, but
it
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they
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also
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empower artists and their craft to keep existing. In conclusion, believing that the arts are a waste of investment is an incorrect opinion, because
art
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is an important part of
the
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apply
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human existence.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in the first part. Say clearly why you do not agree, in a very simple way.
task response
Add one or two clear real-life examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more easy to believe.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few parts are too general. Explain them more with simple support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some links work well, but a few sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar in some phrases, because small errors can make your meaning less clear.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Your two main body paragraphs stay on the topic of art and public money.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
You include both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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