Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
argue that cooperation and teamwork skills are paramount for children. I
personly
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personally
believe the benefits
driven
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derived
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from the
later
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latter
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opinion are much
valuble
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valuable
for individuals and society within and post school.
Body paragraph 1
Schools should
provided
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provide
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young individuals with not only education for academic information but
also
Linking Words
teach manners,
carefull
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careful
since isn't
cogintive
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cognitive
thoughts yet. cancel (not allow)
comparsion
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comparison
with
other
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others
in ways
weather
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such as weather
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sports
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, sports
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or
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, or
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grade
..
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,
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social exclusion
and
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, and
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bullying.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cooperation
improve
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improves
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work efficiency and ensure hostlic
while
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teamwork
improve
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improves
show examples
communication skills among members,
problem solving
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problem-solving
..
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.
show examples
However
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,
this
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can't be met unless effective distribution of responsibilities .. relay on one person.
For example
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,
Conclusion
In conclusion, schools should
provided
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provide
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a
heatlhier
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healthier
environment for student fosters good manners
including
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, including
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..
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.
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Linking Words
Conversely
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Conversely,
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competition
which work
Correct subject-verb agreement
that works
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on self or harms the
sucessfull
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successful
.
omerelsiercv35
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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people like competition and why others like teamwork.
task response
Give your opinion in a full and clear way in the body, not only in the start and end.
task response
Add one real and clear example for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph order: intro, side 1, side 2, opinion, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, however, for example, because, so, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete and easy to follow. Do not stop ideas in the middle.
task response
You gave your opinion clearly: teamwork is more important.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
Your main topic stayed on school, children, competition, and teamwork.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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