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Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some people believe that
eductional institues
Correct your spelling
educational institutions
 should
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 pupils in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
 way.
While
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that cooperation and teamwork skills are paramount for children. I
personly
Correct your spelling
personally
 believe the benefits
driven
Verb problem
derived
show examples
 from the
later
Use the right word
latter
show examples
 opinion are much
valuble
Correct your spelling
valuable
 for individuals and society within and post school.
Body paragraph 1
Schools should
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 young individuals with not only education for academic information but
also
Linking Words
 teach manners,
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
 since isn't
cogintive
Correct your spelling
cognitive
 thoughts yet. cancel (not allow)
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with
other
Replace the word
others
 in ways
weather
Change preposition
such as weather
show examples
sports
Punctuation problem
, sports
show examples
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 grade
..
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 social exclusion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 bullying.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cooperation
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 work efficiency and ensure hostlic
while
Linking Words
 teamwork
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 communication skills among members,
problem solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
..
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can't be met unless effective distribution of responsibilities .. relay on one person.
For example
Linking Words
,
Conclusion
In conclusion, schools should
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 a
heatlhier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 environment for student fosters good manners
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
..
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Conversely
Punctuation problem
Conversely,
show examples
 competition
which work
Correct subject-verb agreement
that works
show examples
 on self or harms the
sucessfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people like competition and why others like teamwork.
task response
Give your opinion in a full and clear way in the body, not only in the start and end.
task response
Add one real and clear example for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph order: intro, side 1, side 2, opinion, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, however, for example, because, so, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence complete and easy to follow. Do not stop ideas in the middle.
task response
You gave your opinion clearly: teamwork is more important.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
Your main topic stayed on school, children, competition, and teamwork.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • motivation
  • empathy
  • interpersonal skills
  • community
  • holistic development
  • successful outcomes
  • strive
  • achievements
  • proponents
  • conflicts
  • balance
  • personal development
  • professional success
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