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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The graghs below shows the number of tourist visit s=paticular island from 2010 to 2017

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The line graph illustrates the figures of tourists visiting a specific island from 2010
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 2017. The units are measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 is clear from the graph that the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing gradually over the whole period. The
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing significantly,
Linking Words
While
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while
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visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on the island are hovering.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
visitors
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 staying on cruise ships fluctuated between 250
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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 and half
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million
Correct article usage
a million
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 from 2010 until 2013.After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 the figures illustrated a sharp increase
by
Change preposition
of
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 2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 by the end of 2017. In terms of
visitors
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 who stayed on the island,
It
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it
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 started with slightly under one
million
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visitors
Use synonyms
 until 2011,
then
Linking Words
 it showed a substantial increase by half
Use synonyms
million
Correct article usage
a million
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 in 2013. The number of
visitors
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 stayed relatively stable until
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
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then
Linking Words
 it respectively decreased by a quarter
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
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 got back to 1.5
million
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 in 2016 and 2017. In 2010,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 total
of
Check wording
number of
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visitors
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 experienced a sharp increase to reach around 2.7m in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, in 2016,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 became
steady
Punctuation problem
steady,
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then
Linking Words
 it grew by 1.5 in 2017.

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coherence cohesion
Use the same time words all through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make each main part about one line only, and keep one clear idea in each paragraph.
task achievement
Check subject and verb forms, like 'the number is' not 'the number are'.
task achievement
Give the main trend in a more exact way in the overview.
task achievement
Use data carefully and avoid wrong words like 'by 2 millions' when you mean 'to 2 million'.
task achievement
You gave a clear overview with the main trends.
coherence cohesion
You used paragraphs to separate ideas.
task achievement
You included some key numbers from the graph.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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