IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has made possible for everybody to read anything online for free. This will make it unnecessary to pay for printed materials such as books or newspapers in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The
internet
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 has made every aspect of our
life
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lives
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 much easier. Nowadays, any digital
materials
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,
such
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 as eBooks, news, and
magazines
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magazines,
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 are accessible through the
internet
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 without the need to pay for the physical
one
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ones
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. I firmly agree that
due to
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 the easy reach to online resources, everyone will be able to find their suitable topics, and the replacement of physical
materials
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 is considered to be beneficial for the
environment
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.
First,
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algorithm plays a vital role on the
internet
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 and adjust the topics we read about.
For instance
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, the search engine
analyzes
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analyses
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 your areas of
interests
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interest
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 and displays the suitable
materials
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 that are convenient for you.
Moreover
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, the gathered data based on your search
make
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makes
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 the reading process accessible and free of charge, and that would not be available in the printed version.
Second,
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the
internet
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 helps the
environment
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in
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by
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 reducing the constant use of
papers
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paper
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 with
the
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apply
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digital resources that keep our community protected.
For example
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, with the great invention of
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internet
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the internet
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, many studies show that individuals who tend to read online
instead
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 of using physical books are more likely to have
full
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a full
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 awareness about how crucial it is to protect the
environment
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. In conclusion, I believe that reading from physical
materials
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are
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is
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 considered to be a unique experience, but with the use of
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internet
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the internet
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, the
digitalized
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digitalised
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 reading process has changed the old notion of obtaining books to read from.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 paradigm shift has a noticeable impact on our
environment
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, which contributes to protecting it from the constant use of
papers
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paper
show examples
.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question more directly. Say clearly why you think printed books and newspapers will or will not become unnecessary.
task response
Your main idea is clear, but some points are too general. Add one or two clearer reasons about cost, access, or why some people may still want printed materials.
task response
Your examples are a bit weak. Use more real and direct examples to support each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not link very smoothly. Make sure each paragraph has one main point and that every sentence supports it.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas, such as first, in addition, however, and therefore.
task response
You clearly show your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
You include two main body paragraphs with separate ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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