IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast choices and express your opinion

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Many people argue that
graduates
Use synonyms
 should begin their careers in large
corporations
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others maintain that working for a small company
initially
Linking Words
 is a more sensible choice.
Although
Linking Words
 both options can provide valuable professional
experience
Use synonyms
, I firmly believe that starting in a small company is more beneficial for most
graduates
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the broader range of responsibilities and faster personal
development
Use synonyms
 it offers. On the one hand, there are several compelling reasons why large
corporations
Use synonyms
 attract newly qualified
graduates
Use synonyms
. Not only do
such
Linking Words
 organisations usually provide competitive salaries and comprehensive benefits packages, but they
also
Linking Words
 offer structured training programmes designed to develop employees' professional skills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, large
companies
Use synonyms
 often possess substantial financial resources, enabling them to invest heavily in employee
development
Use synonyms
 and advanced technologies.
As a result
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 may have access to experienced mentors and opportunities for promotion that are not always available in smaller firms. Equally important is the prestige associated with well-known
corporations
Use synonyms
,
experience
Use synonyms
 in which can significantly enhance an individual's employability in the future.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite these advantages, small
companies
Use synonyms
 frequently provide a more effective environment for professional growth. Owing to their relatively small workforce, employees are often required to undertake a wide variety of tasks and responsibilities.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 can acquire practical
experience
Use synonyms
 in multiple areas of a business rather than being restricted to a narrowly defined role.
Such
Linking Words
 exposure not only accelerates skill
development
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 enables young professionals to gain a deeper understanding of organisational operations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because communication channels tend to be shorter, employees can interact directly with managers and senior staff, receiving immediate feedback and guidance.
This
Linking Words
 close collaboration often results in greater confidence, adaptability, and problem-solving abilities. From my perspective,
while
Linking Words
 large
corporations
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly offer excellent
career
Use synonyms
 prospects, the diverse
experience
Use synonyms
 gained in smaller
companies
Use synonyms
 is of greater value during the early stages of a
career
Use synonyms
. By assuming greater responsibility and participating in a wider range of activities,
graduates
Use synonyms
 are more likely to develop the versatility required in today's highly competitive labour market. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 large
corporations
Use synonyms
 provide structured
career
Use synonyms
 progression and attractive benefits, small
companies
Use synonyms
 offer broader
experience
Use synonyms
, closer professional relationships, and faster skill
development
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that beginning a
career
Use synonyms
 in a small company is the most advantageous option for
graduates
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, add one real or clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, you compare both choices well, but you can explain a little more why one is better for all or most graduates.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are in a clear order. To improve more, use a few shorter sentences to make some points easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words are used well, but do not use too many formal linkers in every paragraph.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are clear and relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a strong paragraph plan with a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph stays on one main idea and connects well to the next.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: