The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.

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the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
given pie chart illustrates a inqury result of united states amarican most used free
time
Use synonyms
activities between 1999 and 2009.
Linking Words
overall
Capitalize the word
Overall
show examples
,walking was
remarkably
Rephrase
the most commonly
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used leisure
time
Use synonyms
activities
Check wording
activity
show examples
during
whole over the periods
Correct word order
the whole period
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
least proportion of activities
done
Verb problem
was done
show examples
by
amarican
Correct your spelling
Americans
to yoga.
Linking Words
according
Capitalize the word
According
show examples
to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
presented graph
walking
Punctuation problem
, walking
show examples
was
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
activuities troughout
Correct your spelling
activity throughout
the
time
Use synonyms
of 1999 to compare with others
was
Correct pronoun usage
, which was
show examples
more than a quarter
.
Punctuation problem
. However,
show examples
however
Linking Words
the figure for walking
experianced
Correct your spelling
experienced
a slightly rose
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
was 31% by the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2009.
moreover
Linking Words
the value of spending
time
Use synonyms
with aerobic was only 13% at thr begaining though it dicreased sharply and went only 4% at the year of 2009.
furthermore
Linking Words
the priority of swimming significantly rose to double from 9% to 18% with the
time
Use synonyms
span of 10 years.
In addition
Linking Words
amaricans spent their
time
Use synonyms
on jogging 7% in 1999
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
witnessed
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fall and went only 3% over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
conversely
Capitalize the word
Conversely
show examples
, people of amarican has diffrent view to spening
time
Use synonyms
with yoga
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
made
this
Linking Words
figure
a
Change preposition
at
show examples
least
whilist
Correct your spelling
while
it
have been
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
vanished
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
2009
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
individuals
does
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
as
leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
show examples
activity
was
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
weight lifting
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
in 2009 was
10%.
Punctuation problem
10%. Whereas
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
the term of
socceras
Correct your spelling
soccer
saw a faintly surged from 17% to 18%
as well as
Linking Words
champing rose only 1% within 10
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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