IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that individuals learn a different
language
Use synonyms
 only when they want to work or move to another country,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that there are many reasons for
this
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 development. In my viewpoint, apart from
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 can
also
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 help you connect with
people
Use synonyms
 from different backgrounds. On the one hand, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is extremely helpful when moving to another country.
This
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 is because it allows an individual to communicate and convey their thoughts and ideas effortlessly to other
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, being fluent in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is essential when working abroad because it allows you to interact with
people
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 effectively and understand their
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Check wording
view
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, in many nations, fluency in their native
language
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 is a necessary requirement for some job
postions
Correct your spelling
positions
.
For example
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, many healthcare jobs in European countries require
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 command on
english
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language
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 as
their
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 policy.
On the other hand
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, the
above mentioned
Correct your spelling
above-mentioned
 reasons are not the only reasons
people
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 learn a new
language
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. Some individuals learn a new
language
Use synonyms
 to connect with
people
Use synonyms
 from different cultures around the world.
Secondly
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, having a good command
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
such
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 as
Use synonyms
english
Capitalize the proper name
English
show examples
 helps individuals get better access to knowledge and education.
For instance
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, most of the content on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is available in the
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english
Capitalize the proper name
English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, a good understanding of
english
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 around the world to gain knowledge through the internet. To sum it up,
although
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 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is helpful during
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or working abroad, it
also
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 helps
people
Use synonyms
 around the world to connect with each other and acquire knowledge.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You do this, but one more clear idea for each side would help.
task response
Give stronger examples. Your healthcare example is useful, but it is a bit general.
task response
Explain your opinion more clearly in the body, not only in the start and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, but be careful not to repeat the same pattern too much.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas need more support. Add one more sentence to develop each main point.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your main idea is clear in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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